A QUICK OBSERVATION

If there is one thing I have learned about the universe, it is that it is a giant man in an enormous pair of bluejeans. Why? Simple: Much like a well-endowed male, the universe must occasionally adjust itself to maintain its comfort zone. When it does this, it likes to remind people like me how fleeting happiness is and how lasting is misery.

Last week I met with my publisher and she handed me an advance copy of my novel to go through and edit and suggest changes as I see fit, since I hold the copyright even after it is released. Since that day I have carried it happily to work with me, reading it on my breaks as if it was a novel I purchased, and showing a select view a glimpse of the finished product.

Finally, my dream, my struggle, my quest for self-actualization and validation had been realized. The only thing I have ever known about myself was that I had to be a published writer or my life would be meaningless. In just a month, that will no longer be an issue.

But I forgot that I'm not allowed to revel in my own accomplishments anymore. Today, having received equal doses of hatred and accusation from two separate parties completely unaware of each other, I can only conclude that the happiness window has closed. Now I find I don't give a fat fickle fuck about the book or anything else. I won't stop writing, but it's been placed back into proper perspective.

Like the man said, "Nothin' matters and so what if it did."

Fuck you, universe.