Monday, March 7, 2011

Chat of the...Moment.

It's Monday. The day is barely half over and already I dealt with the biggest fucking idiot in weeks. Dig the grammar in the following exchange and judge for yourself if he/she is being intentionally obtuse or is a total dim-twit:


Visitor: i thought [your company whent bank rupe..?
Visitor: because if they havent,then they still have some of my money
Visitor: and i want it back
Visitor: Hello
Scribe: The former company filed for bankruptcy in 2007. If you have a question regarding the formercompany, including warranties, merchandise certificates, gift cards, replacement parts or products, please visit (website ommited), or call 1(number ommited.)
Visitor: dont-u-repersent them..?
Scribe: I represent the New company.
Visitor: (former company) no doubt
Visitor: thus-u-my complaint is whit any affelate that ties to your company
Scribe: we are not affiliated with the formercompany. you would need to contact the number or website listed above.
Visitor: y-cant i just use my cupon whit-u...?
Scribe: We are a different company. (At this point I'm chatting with three people at once and this idiot is ruly pushing my buttons)
Visitor: yet the same
Visitor: u-just said so
Scribe: we licensed the name we are not the same company. we are an online store only. anything that took place prior to Oct. 2009 did not involve us.

Visitor: there for-u-r-trying to capitalize on the name
Scribe: Yes. Several companies use the name now.
Visitor: but dont want to deal whit robing thousand of people, out of their money
Visitor: u-r-a- just a guilty
Visitor: s

Like all stupid people, the "visitor" logged off after making their moronic point. I was planning to pose the following example for the mentally impaired: If you purchased a house that was foreclosed upon, would you be expected to pay the former owner's back taxes or would that be a matter for the courts? What do you think? Would Mr. or Ms. Hip Hop Vocab have understood that analogy or would they have been too busy screaming "Gimme mah money muthafuka?"

Monday, February 28, 2011

Email & Chats of the Week!

As I scribed in my previous post, my new job has me dealing with customer issues via phone, email and now chat as well. Without getting too deeply into it, the company for whom I am employed offers certain gadgets and interesting gift ideas at often exorbitant prices. This company actually purchased the name of the former one which went bankrupt in 2008. Basically, that means there are potentially millions of Americans out there trying to get service on products that are no longer guaranteed. As an introduction, check out the weird-ass chat exchange below:

info: Thank you for your patience, I’m finishing with another customer, please wait a moment and I’ll be right with you.
info: You are now chatting with 'Scribe'


Visitor: where can i find atore
Visitor: store
Scribe: Sorry all the stores closed when the former [company] filed for bankruptcy in 2008
Visitor: haha
Visitor: hahahahahahahahah

Short and sweet, right? Below is an email I want youse to paid real close attentions to 'cause the English is not real good and stuff. There's a payoff in the signature line:


Hello

We got a order from your company with no clue as to who ordered this it was ship to :

Shadows Bedell

(Address omitted)

Ship Date 12-15-2010


Trk Nbrs: 038055796152054

Description Slippers Black Mens –LG

We would like to know who ordered this out and we also need to exchange for a MED

We really need to Thank them for a lovely gift

Thanks


Dr and Mrs Shadows Bedell

Yep. And finally, a little slice of spam:


Sent: Friday, February 25, 2011 12:42:45 PM

To: Customer Service

Subject: [Spam]If your wife in bed resembles a log apply pure magic of pharmacy!

Auto forwarded by a Rule

http://www.bremen-bowling.de/BUqwpGioQW.htm



Thursday, February 10, 2011

I Guess I'm Back...

My new job has me dealing with customers not only on the phone but via email! That means I don't need to recreate conversations, just edit them for specific references. Finally, you will all see just how stupid the American consumer has become!!!