AM I AN ASSHOLE?
Wait!!! Don't answer that yet! I haven't told you why! The point of this here feature here is for me to discuss an action I took or something I said that others might construe as bordering Prick Town on its way to Asshole City.
Here it is:
When exiting work the other day, I noticed some asscrack had parked so close to my car I actually had to throw one leg all the way inside and struggle to get behind the wheel like I was experiencing my own birth in reverse! Angered, embittered, and just plan grumpy, I pulled out of my parking space only to discover how difficult that was thanks to the idiot next to me. I no longer drive a tiny Toyota. I now drive a gigantic Ford Taurus Wagon and that sum bitch handles like a truck when it has no room to move.
Naturally I backed out. I searched my car for a piece of paper and a pen and wrote a note for the fuckstick who had parked to close to me. Then, making sure none of my departing co-workers were the vehicle's owner, I got out of my car and placed the note under their windshield wiper.
What did the note say, you ask? It said:
NEXT TIME PARK CLOSER
AND WE CAN SHARE GAS!!!
Now you may answer the question!
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11 comments:
The bigger question is why are you driving a Ford Taurus wagon?
no, lets discuss it now...
noooo you're ruining my future post idea. Everybody turn around and ignore this conversation!!!
Ok, that's one non-asshole vote.
DAMN RIGHT! Thanks for exposing the real reason behind this new feature in, like, five minutes. I'm gonna go lie down now!!!
ahhhhh, i know you so well, and you thought I wasn't paying attention :)
hey lookit me all two-for-two & picturing dirty things. NEXT?
green,
it was defintiely a co-worker. This was a Sunday and we are the only ones in the building. I didn't get in on the other side because that person was also too close.
rudy,
If it redeems me at all, I did write down the license plate and am currently stalking the person by parking too close to them in their own driveway!
bluez,
Nah, I might have done the dinging with the old car (ok, I did) but this was looks decent.
have you then confronted the person with their crimes of snuggle-up parking? Usually these people are dinged but repeat 'fenders.
see if it was me, i might have felt the urge to open my door and leave a reminder on his.
Rumour has it that one time (when i was an impressionable youth) i just may have responded to a car that parked too close to me by placing a bit of jagged metal under his front tire before i drove away.
Crazy muthafuka!!!
We gots to hang out!
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