TEXT MESSAGE FROM EFB: What time is your lunch? Can you bring me some McDonald's?
FROM ME: Sure. What would you like?
HER: Big Mac meal.
ME: No problem.
Lunch-time:
It has taken nearly half my lunch to get to the drive-thru window and make it home with lunch. I struggle from the car with a giant bag and two cups of Coke. The door is locked despite her knowing I am coming and I cannot even knock without dropping something on the ground. I rap on the door ONCE with my foot and the dogs go crazy.
FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE: Hold on! I said hold on, godammit! I'm coming! Godammit! Fuck!!! Shit!!!
ME: Excuse me???
The door opens to reveal EFB in a towel dripping water onto the hardwood floor. It is 12:3o p.m.
Her: I said I was coming! Why the hell did you keep banging on the door?
ME: What the hell are you talking about? I knocked once!
Her: You just kept knocking and I told you I was coming! Godammit!
ME: I KNOCKED ONCE!!! What the fuck is wrong with you aside from the obvious!?
Stomp, stomp, stomp she goes back to the shower.
ME: You knew I was coming, why was the door locked if you were gonna take a shower aty 12:3o?
Her: I work afternoons! Get off my back!
ME: Get off your...wow. Here's your , lunch that I used up most of my lunch hour getting for you.
Five minutes later she gets a call from her mom saying she will be over soon for lunch. Waste of time and money, anyone?
1 Hour Later:
TEXT MESSAGE FROM EFB: My mom said she was coming over and she said it hasn't been an hour. She accused me of resetting my cell phone clock to make it look like she is lying.
(Impossible, by the way)
ME: I think your mom might be going senile...
HER: Fuck off! How dare you call her that!?
That was before 2:00. Any wonder why I say whatever I feel to this person whilst awaiting my opportunity to make a clean or not-so-clean break?
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17 comments:
A Day at the DMV sounds like fun after reading this.
That'd be the last lunch she'd ever see from me. Dinner as well for that matter. Just sayin...
Yeah. 3 whiney kids all day griping at every meal you make sounds better than that.
But you get to get out of the house. I hate you.
Bluez,
We don't have a DMV in Michigan but I've seen pictures. yeah, it probably is more fun.
madge,
I've found it's better to continue the good deed with careless people.
autumn,
yeah, I wouldn't trade your situation for mine LOL
dude, we've been waiting for the clean or not-so-clean getaway for years. I don't think you'll ever do it. You might as well propose to her, since neither one of you seems to be going anywhere.
My dearest Scribe, their DMV is the same as our Secretary Of State although I think a DMV is FAR more effective..
Green~ If these two got married? It would soon just add to the statistic of divorce..
There is no easy answer to their seperation either though. The said "casa" is the problem. Think like "War of the Roses" I do feel it would get that bad.
But I digress.
And my dearest? That should be the last time you waste your lunch hour on her :X
k~: yes I made the marriage remark very much tongue in cheek.
War of the Roses was an incredibly funny dark comedy.
In scribe's case he ought to do what ever he can to extricate himself from EFB even as difficult as it may be.
That's just it. There is no easy exit strategy just like the current "Occupation" by Bush. There is no easy way out for my Dearest Scribe.
It's the house. If he leaves...he abandons it and possibly all rights too it. That's why he can't just walk away. (and it was HIS to begin with).
And she doesn't have the balls enough to leave....because she wants the house.
That's the reality.
But even to suggest they even remotely get married (even in jest)...would be like booking at ticket for the Titanic.
Is her name on the mortgage?
If not, why not announce that you're selling the house and give her a date when she must be out.
Does MI have any weird property laws that I wouldn't know about?
Michigan's weird laws are:
If two parties names are on said title to said house and one party leaves/abandons than said party who left relinquishes all rights to said property to the remaining party however they are still financial obligated to said property.
Secondly,
Much like the rest of the country trying to sell a house right now is almost impossible.
Thirdly,
And you just can't announce it is a legal process to be a party selling when the other party does not.
lol, yeah, it's not complicated, it's called a buy out, one party buys the others interest in the house...and since the housing market is so shitty it should be easy to get the house appraised at a lower price than what it probably went for...
Damn, this post went in a completely different direction than I'd intended!!!
My dearest? Leave a map next time LOL'n
and I've learned a long time ago I don't bother with Anonymous comments :)
lol paralegal in da house!! ye-yeah!!
I suggest you get qualified legal counsel...from a lawyer...who's passed the bar...and understands the complexities of property law...
"Damn, this post went in a completely different direction than I'd intended!!!"
Happens to me 90% of the time. Get used to it.
It doesn't happen to me very often...
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