As year’s end swiftly approaches like satanic puppies nipping at our heels for devil-kibble, it just might be time to seek shelter, read a Bible passage, and think back on what we’ve learned this past year. And so I am responding to and tagging others for these ten questions of utter import that will change the world, divide nations, destroy religions and finally get rid of reality TV!
- What region of the country most disgusts you now? Well, I can’t say it does “now,” because the southern U.S. always disgusted me, but as the only region that didn’t wake up and vote for the best interests of the nation due to inbred prejudice and outdated so-called “values,” I was reminded why I keep my two-toned ASSNorth of the Mason Dixon.
- What single person or action changed your perception of a group or individual? When I saw Congress throw hundreds of billions of dollars to bail out sleazy banking institutions without any real restritions while placing the CEO’s of the Big Three under the hot light.
- What moment confirmed your worst fears about the human race? This one was tough but I have to go with Rudy Guiliani using the tragedy of 9/11 to advance his presidential aspirations. There aren’t enough words in any language to express how wrong, unethical and repugnant that was.
- What moment reaffirmed that tiny, hidden glimmer of optimism you pretend not to have? Who told you I…oh, right I wrote this. The election of Barrack Obama and Joe Biden (let us not forget him) reignited a long doused spark of hope in this cynic’s heart.
- Name one thing you realized was an exercise in futility this year. Debating with neo-cons. When one is so brainwashed as to be incapable of thinking beyond their flawed dogma, they are also incapable of learning from others.
- Who let you down the most this year? I wrote about him before, although technically his real betrayal occurred in 2006. Still, the fact that he has all but professed his undying love for EFB places him at the top of the list for another year.
- If this were the year you were given a “do-over,” would you use it or exchange it for some other year? This year hasn’t really been all that bad for me. I would exchange it for 2002.
- Was there a book or film that affected you deeply this year? If so, what? There were a few books, actually and one film. If forced to choose a single book, though, I’d have to choose Christopher Moore’s “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal.” It is much more than a hilarious satire, it actually causes the intelligent reader (and me) to re-examine Jesus and his story in a positive way. Tied with "Lamb" is Michael Chabon's "The Adventures of Kavalier & Clay," possibly the most amazing novel I have ever read. The film would be Michael Moore’s “Sicko.” Hmm, “Moore” seems to be the recurring theme here. Maybe I should change my last name: Nah, How could I work that into my real name, Count Monster Rod VonHugenstein?
- Did anything become an addiction for you this year? If so, what and why? I became addicted to watching science fiction series like Stargate & Babylon 5 on DVD so I could create marathons. In one case, I watched an entire season of Babylon 5 in less than a week! I’m in therapy now and really find that sleeping with my therapist helps. I just wish he’d be the power bottom once in a while.
What if anything about this year do you sincerely hope carries over into 2009? The prevailing optimism about the future inspired by a biracial man whose charisma is swiftly making him the next Robert Kennedy…hopefully he doesn’t wind up the same way.
I tag all of you because I am sincerely interested in reading your responses; enjoy that, it likely won't happen again...get to work!!!
Showing posts with label Little people erotica. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Little people erotica. Show all posts
Monday, December 15, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
STATE OF THE SO-CALLED "UNION" part 6 in an ongoing rant
Scribe's presidential candiate endorsement.
I know you've all been waiting for this, so here goes:
I must confess I’m rather nervous right now. Nervous about how the presidential election will turn out. Nervous about the state of my nation. Nervous about the nation’s future.
I’m also disgusted. Disgusted that John McCain has a chance at actually becoming president of the United States. Disgusted that there is such a thing as a “Bradley Effect.” Disgusted that there are still undecided voters out there.
The last time I felt like this was 2004. It was also he first time I ever felt like this. In 2000, I assumed the election was a given in Al Gore’s favor. How could he lose? He was coming off eight years of unprecedented economic prosperity and had served under a president whose approval rating was huge. His opponent was a poorly spoken idiot whose major accomplishments involved an ability to get out of trouble after creating it for others. He was a smirking, stammering, chimp of a man and in no way reflective of America at large.
Then reality bitch slapped me a couple dozen times and I woke up to a whole new nation. The morons had risen up and overthrown the thinkers in a bloodless coup d’etat. Working in concert with activist judges and comic book level villainy in the form of Karl Rove (Never trust a guy named Karl when his name is spelled with a “K”) they took the Whitehouse and changed all the drapes.
Gore didn’t help, Of course. His performance in the first debate was deplorable. He came off as arrogant, impatient and immature. When you make George W Bush look good, you have officially lost it. In addition, he deemphasized his connection to Bill Clinton, wrongly assuming the Lewinski scandal was a deciding factor amongst most voters. Why he would distance himself from a popular and successful president under who he served directly is anybody’s guess.
These days Al Gore does speaking engagements on global warming, thereby opening himself up to merciless lampooning on South Park.
In 2004 the Democrats ran John Kerry, a rather weak candidate but still light-years ahead of W and his Halliburton cronies. The margin of loss was narrow and due mainly to Kerry’s unwillingness or inability to defend himself in an assertive manner. The Swiftboat lies were easily disproved and disputed, yet he did and said next to nothing. He never even mentioned W’s draft dodging record or that none of his administration had served in the military.
Also, Kerry’s demeanor tuned off what Sara Palin so giddily refers to as “Joe Six-pack.” Un-used to reserved intellectuals, the average American finds guys like Kerry threatening and elitist.
Thanks to a complete lack of sophistication in large sections of my country, W got back in and continued to wage his war on a noun and drive us further into debt with the Chinese.
W is now a lame duck and all the insults and one-liners that brings to mind. He and his Cheney-inspired hooligans are on their way to lucrative private sector consultant jobs and speaking engagements. The void being left by them is the most vital one to be filled in a long, long time.
I do not believe John McCain is the man to fill that void. I had my reservations about Barrack Obama in the beginning but he has shown himself to have the correct demeanor and outlook for the job. By contrast, McCain has shown himself to be an increasingly weird, out of touch old man who is more in love with his self-perception as a maverick than his country.
As If McCain’s smarmy, erratic behavior weren’t enough, his obviously impaired judgment is even worse. How else do we explain him allowing his handlers to choose Sara Palin as his running mate? An embarrassment to intelligent, worldly women everywhere, Palin’s moronic utterances proved the so-called “stereotype” that the average conservative prefers women who are pleasant to look while being almost completely devoid of any inner substance: Attractive and agreeable baby-machines that can be unleashed on those filthy liberals like poorly trained attack dogs.
Obama’s choice of Joe Biden cemented others’ and mine opinion that he was the choice this time around. These two together have a chance of reclaiming some of this country’s credibility and influence with other nations. I know neo-cons love to act like they don’t care what other countries think while spending trillions to influence their opinions but we are hated for a reason. Actually, we are hated for several reasons. We are arrogant, provincial control freaks sorely in need of a wakeup call. Being a super-power in massive debt isn’t a stable situation as anyone with a background in middle school civics can attest.
We don’t need another old world cold warrior presiding over our government. We don’t need someone who doesn’t understand the enemy lobbing bombs at them. We need people who can practice empathy with toughness. Someone who understands the world situation and the way other people think, not someone whose main ambition is to get payback for his time spent in a prisoner of war camp.
Oddly enough, it as perfectly acceptable to attack John Kerry’s wartime record despite proof that people who never served with him fabricated the claims. But when it’s a Republican, somehow their record is sacred? Sorry, John McCain wasn’t a very good pilot (5 crashed planes don’t lie) and he doesn’t deserve the presidency because he had the bad luck of being captured and tortured. Traumatic experiences like that scar people for life and sometimes leave them with an undying thirst for revenge.
That’s what disgusts and makes me most nervous, the idea of yet another emotionally damaged human being in the Oval Office. I’ll do my part to make sure it doesn’t happen, but I’m just one drop dead gorgeous guy. You must do the same.
Worst-case scenario: If McPalin does win, I will comfort myself with the following quote from a Crowded House song:
“Julius Caesar and the Roman Empire/Couldn’t conquer the blue sky.”
Let’s hope that’s still true today~
I know you've all been waiting for this, so here goes:
I must confess I’m rather nervous right now. Nervous about how the presidential election will turn out. Nervous about the state of my nation. Nervous about the nation’s future.
I’m also disgusted. Disgusted that John McCain has a chance at actually becoming president of the United States. Disgusted that there is such a thing as a “Bradley Effect.” Disgusted that there are still undecided voters out there.
The last time I felt like this was 2004. It was also he first time I ever felt like this. In 2000, I assumed the election was a given in Al Gore’s favor. How could he lose? He was coming off eight years of unprecedented economic prosperity and had served under a president whose approval rating was huge. His opponent was a poorly spoken idiot whose major accomplishments involved an ability to get out of trouble after creating it for others. He was a smirking, stammering, chimp of a man and in no way reflective of America at large.
Then reality bitch slapped me a couple dozen times and I woke up to a whole new nation. The morons had risen up and overthrown the thinkers in a bloodless coup d’etat. Working in concert with activist judges and comic book level villainy in the form of Karl Rove (Never trust a guy named Karl when his name is spelled with a “K”) they took the Whitehouse and changed all the drapes.
Gore didn’t help, Of course. His performance in the first debate was deplorable. He came off as arrogant, impatient and immature. When you make George W Bush look good, you have officially lost it. In addition, he deemphasized his connection to Bill Clinton, wrongly assuming the Lewinski scandal was a deciding factor amongst most voters. Why he would distance himself from a popular and successful president under who he served directly is anybody’s guess.
These days Al Gore does speaking engagements on global warming, thereby opening himself up to merciless lampooning on South Park.
In 2004 the Democrats ran John Kerry, a rather weak candidate but still light-years ahead of W and his Halliburton cronies. The margin of loss was narrow and due mainly to Kerry’s unwillingness or inability to defend himself in an assertive manner. The Swiftboat lies were easily disproved and disputed, yet he did and said next to nothing. He never even mentioned W’s draft dodging record or that none of his administration had served in the military.
Also, Kerry’s demeanor tuned off what Sara Palin so giddily refers to as “Joe Six-pack.” Un-used to reserved intellectuals, the average American finds guys like Kerry threatening and elitist.
Thanks to a complete lack of sophistication in large sections of my country, W got back in and continued to wage his war on a noun and drive us further into debt with the Chinese.
W is now a lame duck and all the insults and one-liners that brings to mind. He and his Cheney-inspired hooligans are on their way to lucrative private sector consultant jobs and speaking engagements. The void being left by them is the most vital one to be filled in a long, long time.
I do not believe John McCain is the man to fill that void. I had my reservations about Barrack Obama in the beginning but he has shown himself to have the correct demeanor and outlook for the job. By contrast, McCain has shown himself to be an increasingly weird, out of touch old man who is more in love with his self-perception as a maverick than his country.
As If McCain’s smarmy, erratic behavior weren’t enough, his obviously impaired judgment is even worse. How else do we explain him allowing his handlers to choose Sara Palin as his running mate? An embarrassment to intelligent, worldly women everywhere, Palin’s moronic utterances proved the so-called “stereotype” that the average conservative prefers women who are pleasant to look while being almost completely devoid of any inner substance: Attractive and agreeable baby-machines that can be unleashed on those filthy liberals like poorly trained attack dogs.
Obama’s choice of Joe Biden cemented others’ and mine opinion that he was the choice this time around. These two together have a chance of reclaiming some of this country’s credibility and influence with other nations. I know neo-cons love to act like they don’t care what other countries think while spending trillions to influence their opinions but we are hated for a reason. Actually, we are hated for several reasons. We are arrogant, provincial control freaks sorely in need of a wakeup call. Being a super-power in massive debt isn’t a stable situation as anyone with a background in middle school civics can attest.
We don’t need another old world cold warrior presiding over our government. We don’t need someone who doesn’t understand the enemy lobbing bombs at them. We need people who can practice empathy with toughness. Someone who understands the world situation and the way other people think, not someone whose main ambition is to get payback for his time spent in a prisoner of war camp.
Oddly enough, it as perfectly acceptable to attack John Kerry’s wartime record despite proof that people who never served with him fabricated the claims. But when it’s a Republican, somehow their record is sacred? Sorry, John McCain wasn’t a very good pilot (5 crashed planes don’t lie) and he doesn’t deserve the presidency because he had the bad luck of being captured and tortured. Traumatic experiences like that scar people for life and sometimes leave them with an undying thirst for revenge.
That’s what disgusts and makes me most nervous, the idea of yet another emotionally damaged human being in the Oval Office. I’ll do my part to make sure it doesn’t happen, but I’m just one drop dead gorgeous guy. You must do the same.
Worst-case scenario: If McPalin does win, I will comfort myself with the following quote from a Crowded House song:
“Julius Caesar and the Roman Empire/Couldn’t conquer the blue sky.”
Let’s hope that’s still true today~
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
SCRIBE'S SELF-HELP SEMINAR:
Enough with politics, I see no reason why I shouldn’t jump on the self-help bandwagon and force people to see life through my eyes by pretending to love humanity. Only a fool or a politician wouldn’t know these people have naught but contempt for the human herd and obviously there are a lot of both groups because dem books be flyin’ off da shelf!
I want in. I wanna go on Oprah and tell everybody how to live and get stuff they’ve always wanted. I want to be seen as an expert on a field I have barely worked in, if at all, and get paid for it. I want to sit next to Montel and agree with his endless platitues and make it sound like we’re on the same wavelength and that’s why he’s so bloody brilliant.
And it all starts here, with a list of ten things of undeniable insight and unavoidable brilliance. Ten items of such wisdom that idiots will go blind upon reading them. Ten items that will expose the soft, seamy under-belly of human delusion and cause the planets to align while cats and dogs sing together at the left hand of God Himself!!!!
Priase my name! Praise it!!! Hugga bugga woooda bahsanta rie!!! Got me speakin’ in tongues up in heah!!!
And don’t forget it because what I just said above was the most important piece of the puzzle that will solve the biggest human conundrum: What Would Brian Boitano Do?
The list unfolds below:
- People who use the word “classy” rarely are.
- Speaking in tongues is probably the most ingenious scam ever devised by an organized religion.
- Guys that drive huge trucks have teeney weeney peenies.
- Republicans are like retarded children & should be pitied behind their backs & ridiculed to their faces.
- Women are only able to use sex as a form of blackmail on guys that aren't any good at it.
- Road rage is the direct result of over-civilizing & political correctness.
- God & Oprah are the same being, which is why I don't care for either one of them.
- Mormon's and Scientologists are God/Oprah's way of saying, "See? Religion can be funny."
- Somebody is always going to think they came up with an idea once it's popular. Not me, though. I really did write Star Wars before George Lucas. I was one brilliant toddler but my agent sucked.
- Scribe is the end-all, be-all authority on all things sociopolitical now that he has dethroned the artist formerly known as EFB's know-it-all brother...not the one mentioned below but the other one. (More on that in a later post once we've had a long enough break from politics)
I want in. I wanna go on Oprah and tell everybody how to live and get stuff they’ve always wanted. I want to be seen as an expert on a field I have barely worked in, if at all, and get paid for it. I want to sit next to Montel and agree with his endless platitues and make it sound like we’re on the same wavelength and that’s why he’s so bloody brilliant.
And it all starts here, with a list of ten things of undeniable insight and unavoidable brilliance. Ten items of such wisdom that idiots will go blind upon reading them. Ten items that will expose the soft, seamy under-belly of human delusion and cause the planets to align while cats and dogs sing together at the left hand of God Himself!!!!
Priase my name! Praise it!!! Hugga bugga woooda bahsanta rie!!! Got me speakin’ in tongues up in heah!!!
And don’t forget it because what I just said above was the most important piece of the puzzle that will solve the biggest human conundrum: What Would Brian Boitano Do?
The list unfolds below:
- People who use the word “classy” rarely are.
- Speaking in tongues is probably the most ingenious scam ever devised by an organized religion.
- Guys that drive huge trucks have teeney weeney peenies.
- Republicans are like retarded children & should be pitied behind their backs & ridiculed to their faces.
- Women are only able to use sex as a form of blackmail on guys that aren't any good at it.
- Road rage is the direct result of over-civilizing & political correctness.
- God & Oprah are the same being, which is why I don't care for either one of them.
- Mormon's and Scientologists are God/Oprah's way of saying, "See? Religion can be funny."
- Somebody is always going to think they came up with an idea once it's popular. Not me, though. I really did write Star Wars before George Lucas. I was one brilliant toddler but my agent sucked.
- Scribe is the end-all, be-all authority on all things sociopolitical now that he has dethroned the artist formerly known as EFB's know-it-all brother...not the one mentioned below but the other one. (More on that in a later post once we've had a long enough break from politics)
I realize I have a work of fiction coming out soon (publisher said will be ready to order from the printer in 2 weeks or less) but my self-help could make me a guru. Who doesn't wanna be a guru, doing...guru stuff and...other things gurus do...
Wait. Should I have admitted what I'm up to?
Hold on, people, Scribe the Wise needs to administer a little self-help and this time I don't mean masturbation...although that will probbaly happen as well!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
FROM BLUEZ' HONEY-POT TO SCRIBE'S TONGUE TO YA'LLZ EARS:
1) One movie made you laugh?
I laugh at lots of movies, the Big Lebowski and Blazing Saddles make me laugh as if I'm seeing them for the first time every time. I also cracked up at Titanic when Leo's fingers broke off the raft and he went down into Davey Jones' locker.
2) One movie that made you cry?
Cry? Only bitches cry! And by "bitches" I mean men significantly missing their tri-pods ifyaknowhatumsayin'! Sheeeiit! Scribe don'ty cry for no thang and no body! Are the girls gone? OK, lock the door....thanks! I cried like an abused baby in an iron lung when I saw "Frequency" with Dennis Quaid and that guy who played Jesus in the Mel Gibson S&M flick. Like a baby!!!! Oh, here come the chicks. AHEM!!! I cry at the end of Titanic, ladies, wink-wink...
3) One movie you loved as a child.
I continue to love movies I loved as a child, for the most part. Am I supposed to pick one I don't like anymore? If so, it would have to be Top Gun. As an adult, I realize it was little more than a jingoistic two hour ad for the Navy with one kick-ass fighter sequence at the end and a grade school romance story. Oh, and they killed off Goose in a training accident. GOOOOSSSSSE!!!
4) One movie you have you seen more than once
I saw the Empire Strikes Back 30 times!!! While it was in theatrical release! And that doesn't include the times I stayed in the theater and watched it a second time.
5) One movie are you embarrassed to admit to seeing
"One Fine Day" with Clooney and Pfeiffer. What a cliche-filled piece of pablum.
6) One movie you hated
"Smokin' Aces." Agonizingly derivative hipster crap that looked like it was shot by an epileptic on speed.
7) One movie that scared you.
The original non-PC "Halloween."
8) One movie that bored you:
"Out of Africa." Either that or the African countryside looked an awful lot like the back of my eyelids!
9) One movie that made you happy:
The latest Indiana Jones. Exactly what I was hoping for.
10) One movie that made you miserable:
"Somewhere in Time." I was ready to slit my wrists and my scrotum.
11) One move you were brave enough to see:
"Sex in the City" on opening night. The horror. The shoes. The horror.
12) One movie character you fell in love with.
Princess Amidala from the Star Wars prequels. My intergalatic Israeli dreamgirl.
13) Last movie you saw on the big screen:
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
14) Next movie you want to see on the big screen:
Hancock, because the title makes me giggle like a schoolgirl with erect nipples in a summer dress.
Click this link for a special announcement:
http://seriousdiscussions.blogspot.com/
I laugh at lots of movies, the Big Lebowski and Blazing Saddles make me laugh as if I'm seeing them for the first time every time. I also cracked up at Titanic when Leo's fingers broke off the raft and he went down into Davey Jones' locker.
2) One movie that made you cry?
Cry? Only bitches cry! And by "bitches" I mean men significantly missing their tri-pods ifyaknowhatumsayin'! Sheeeiit! Scribe don'ty cry for no thang and no body! Are the girls gone? OK, lock the door....thanks! I cried like an abused baby in an iron lung when I saw "Frequency" with Dennis Quaid and that guy who played Jesus in the Mel Gibson S&M flick. Like a baby!!!! Oh, here come the chicks. AHEM!!! I cry at the end of Titanic, ladies, wink-wink...
3) One movie you loved as a child.
I continue to love movies I loved as a child, for the most part. Am I supposed to pick one I don't like anymore? If so, it would have to be Top Gun. As an adult, I realize it was little more than a jingoistic two hour ad for the Navy with one kick-ass fighter sequence at the end and a grade school romance story. Oh, and they killed off Goose in a training accident. GOOOOSSSSSE!!!
4) One movie you have you seen more than once
I saw the Empire Strikes Back 30 times!!! While it was in theatrical release! And that doesn't include the times I stayed in the theater and watched it a second time.
5) One movie are you embarrassed to admit to seeing
"One Fine Day" with Clooney and Pfeiffer. What a cliche-filled piece of pablum.
6) One movie you hated
"Smokin' Aces." Agonizingly derivative hipster crap that looked like it was shot by an epileptic on speed.
7) One movie that scared you.
The original non-PC "Halloween."
8) One movie that bored you:
"Out of Africa." Either that or the African countryside looked an awful lot like the back of my eyelids!
9) One movie that made you happy:
The latest Indiana Jones. Exactly what I was hoping for.
10) One movie that made you miserable:
"Somewhere in Time." I was ready to slit my wrists and my scrotum.
11) One move you were brave enough to see:
"Sex in the City" on opening night. The horror. The shoes. The horror.
12) One movie character you fell in love with.
Princess Amidala from the Star Wars prequels. My intergalatic Israeli dreamgirl.
13) Last movie you saw on the big screen:
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
14) Next movie you want to see on the big screen:
Hancock, because the title makes me giggle like a schoolgirl with erect nipples in a summer dress.
Click this link for a special announcement:
http://seriousdiscussions.blogspot.com/
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