SCRIBE'S YEAR'S END LIST OF SHIT TO PONDER...

As year’s end swiftly approaches like satanic puppies nipping at our heels for devil-kibble, it just might be time to seek shelter, read a Bible passage, and think back on what we’ve learned this past year. And so I am responding to and tagging others for these ten questions of utter import that will change the world, divide nations, destroy religions and finally get rid of reality TV!


- What region of the country most disgusts you now? Well, I can’t say it does “now,” because the southern U.S. always disgusted me, but as the only region that didn’t wake up and vote for the best interests of the nation due to inbred prejudice and outdated so-called “values,” I was reminded why I keep my two-toned ASSNorth of the Mason Dixon.

- What single person or action changed your perception of a group or individual? When I saw Congress throw hundreds of billions of dollars to bail out sleazy banking institutions without any real restritions while placing the CEO’s of the Big Three under the hot light.

- What moment confirmed your worst fears about the human race? This one was tough but I have to go with Rudy Guiliani using the tragedy of 9/11 to advance his presidential aspirations. There aren’t enough words in any language to express how wrong, unethical and repugnant that was.

- What moment reaffirmed that tiny, hidden glimmer of optimism you pretend not to have? Who told you I…oh, right I wrote this. The election of Barrack Obama and Joe Biden (let us not forget him) reignited a long doused spark of hope in this cynic’s heart.

- Name one thing you realized was an exercise in futility this year. Debating with neo-cons. When one is so brainwashed as to be incapable of thinking beyond their flawed dogma, they are also incapable of learning from others.

- Who let you down the most this year? I wrote about him before, although technically his real betrayal occurred in 2006. Still, the fact that he has all but professed his undying love for EFB places him at the top of the list for another year.

- If this were the year you were given a “do-over,” would you use it or exchange it for some other year? This year hasn’t really been all that bad for me. I would exchange it for 2002.

- Was there a book or film that affected you deeply this year? If so, what? There were a few books, actually and one film. If forced to choose a single book, though, I’d have to choose Christopher Moore’s “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal.” It is much more than a hilarious satire, it actually causes the intelligent reader (and me) to re-examine Jesus and his story in a positive way. Tied with "Lamb" is Michael Chabon's "The Adventures of Kavalier & Clay," possibly the most amazing novel I have ever read. The film would be Michael Moore’s “Sicko.” Hmm, “Moore” seems to be the recurring theme here. Maybe I should change my last name: Nah, How could I work that into my real name, Count Monster Rod VonHugenstein?



- Did anything become an addiction for you this year? If so, what and why? I became addicted to watching science fiction series like Stargate & Babylon 5 on DVD so I could create marathons. In one case, I watched an entire season of Babylon 5 in less than a week! I’m in therapy now and really find that sleeping with my therapist helps. I just wish he’d be the power bottom once in a while.

What if anything about this year do you sincerely hope carries over into 2009? The prevailing optimism about the future inspired by a biracial man whose charisma is swiftly making him the next Robert Kennedy…hopefully he doesn’t wind up the same way.

I tag all of you because I am sincerely interested in reading your responses; enjoy that, it likely won't happen again...get to work!!!

FROM BLUEZ' HONEY-POT TO SCRIBE'S TONGUE TO YA'LLZ EARS:

1) One movie made you laugh?

I laugh at lots of movies, the Big Lebowski and Blazing Saddles make me laugh as if I'm seeing them for the first time every time. I also cracked up at Titanic when Leo's fingers broke off the raft and he went down into Davey Jones' locker.

2) One movie that made you cry?

Cry? Only bitches cry! And by "bitches" I mean men significantly missing their tri-pods ifyaknowhatumsayin'! Sheeeiit! Scribe don'ty cry for no thang and no body! Are the girls gone? OK, lock the door....thanks! I cried like an abused baby in an iron lung when I saw "Frequency" with Dennis Quaid and that guy who played Jesus in the Mel Gibson S&M flick. Like a baby!!!! Oh, here come the chicks. AHEM!!! I cry at the end of Titanic, ladies, wink-wink...

3) One movie you loved as a child.

I continue to love movies I loved as a child, for the most part. Am I supposed to pick one I don't like anymore? If so, it would have to be Top Gun. As an adult, I realize it was little more than a jingoistic two hour ad for the Navy with one kick-ass fighter sequence at the end and a grade school romance story. Oh, and they killed off Goose in a training accident. GOOOOSSSSSE!!!

4) One movie you have you seen more than once
I saw the Empire Strikes Back 30 times!!! While it was in theatrical release! And that doesn't include the times I stayed in the theater and watched it a second time.

5) One movie are you embarrassed to admit to seeing

"One Fine Day" with Clooney and Pfeiffer. What a cliche-filled piece of pablum.

6) One movie you hated

"Smokin' Aces." Agonizingly derivative hipster crap that looked like it was shot by an epileptic on speed.

7) One movie that scared you.

The original non-PC "Halloween."

8) One movie that bored you:

"Out of Africa." Either that or the African countryside looked an awful lot like the back of my eyelids!

9) One movie that made you happy:

The latest Indiana Jones. Exactly what I was hoping for.

10) One movie that made you miserable:

"Somewhere in Time." I was ready to slit my wrists and my scrotum.

11) One move you were brave enough to see:

"Sex in the City" on opening night. The horror. The shoes. The horror.

12) One movie character you fell in love with.

Princess Amidala from the Star Wars prequels. My intergalatic Israeli dreamgirl.

13) Last movie you saw on the big screen:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull


14) Next movie you want to see on the big screen:

Hancock, because the title makes me giggle like a schoolgirl with erect nipples in a summer dress.


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