WHY I AM DONE WITH NON-BLOGGER SITES (Reason 440,929,067)

Here’s the deal: Unlike most of the sad, lonely walking annoyances who use Facebook as a form of virtual self-validation, I use it for its original purpose: Namely, shameless self-promotion and networking with others of like-minded whorishness.

I don’t use Facebook to tell you how my day went or what I think about yummy sunsets. I don’t have or particularly want or like children so it’s not an outlet for bragging about what my seed helped create. There are no old friends from my past tech savvy enough to manipulate a mouse let alone set up a Facebook profile. And I’m not interested in providing a confessional into the deeply disturbed psyche that is my so-called mind. I do that here and it’s infinitely more satisfying than dealing with the cloistered sycophants on Geekbook!

You’re probably wondering why I’m all angry and stuff and such. As some of my old-time readers already know, I often endure constant, nagging criticism in my life. Even my fucking job calls for me to sit and be “coached” on my performance twice a month. I also subject myself to critiquing of my writing twice a month so the last thing I need is a goddam criticism of the way I run my motherfucking Facebook page!!!

If you’re like me, desperately holding onto whatever semblance of sanity you can in a world of increasing madness, you probably agree that the dumb shit people so readily indulge in on Facebook is a waste of time. For instance, those goddam surveys. I used to enjoy them on blogger because they were rare and I created my own from time to time. For some reason, Facebook zombies live for them.

Most of you have never met me in person, but you’ve read enough to know I don’t take shit like that seriously. In fact, I create surveys for the express purpose of writing hopefully amusing replies. I was recently criticized for not being serious with my comments on a particular survey or most of them, for that matter. In fact, when I asked someone if they’d read my reply to a specific question, a reply that happened to be truthful and honest, I was told no because it was probably something stupid.

Now, besides the urge to break my foot off in this person’s rarely-seen, I found the comment sobering in that it clearly differentiated me from the zombies whose inane observations and repugnant obsession with Facekook make it such an unappealing yet useful site. Would you like to know the specific reasons I was criticized?

For one thing, “all the other men” on the site write about their children and “the wife” and how blessed be the quality time spent listening to both of them piss and moan about everything. I informed this person that my page is an author’s page and we don’t waste time discussing wifey or hubby’s toe-jam fungus and the cute way he or she drools on their pillow at night before farting on my leg and causing a ripple effect under the sheets.

Author’s pages tend to be more about what we’re writing with the occasional detour into some brief observation on life. I was then informed that no one knows that my page is supposed to be like that.

“So the picture of my book isn’t enough of a clue?” I said.

Nobody knows you wrote that book, was the response.

“So the words ‘author of the book pictured above’ under the cover photo weren’t clue number two?” I said.

People don’t pay attention to things, came the reply. Last time I checked, idiots are idiots and there’s nothing that can be done to change that. The other authors in my friend list know. The readers of my blog know. Those I have met over the years know. Looks like the only one that doesn’t know is the person with the gall to criticize what they –let’s say it together now – DON’T KNOW!!!

So I guess I’m an insincere jack-off because I try to have fun with something I think is pretty dumb. I guess because I don’t go along with the herd and move with the flow I am somehow a bad person whose mere presence is an offensive waste of time. I guess saying brussells sprouts taste like an old man farting isn’t funny to the straight-laced set.

Y’know, I was reluctant to migrate to Facebook because I had a bad feeling about it and now I know my trepidation was justified. And still there is no more pure form of online esxpression than good ol’ Blogger, long may it reign.

So for those of you who are on my Facebook list, expect a significantly reduced presence unless by some miracle my novel actually comes out.

Scribe out!

(Still can’t make that shit sound cool!)