ANOTHER LIST?

Americans never tire of lists. I do, but I’m not exactly the average American. I rarely bathe, I use TV as an educational tool and I don’t hate the idea of gay marriage or accept the Bible as literally written. I’m a wacko!

Anyway, here are a few things what comed to mind when I was recently thinking about ludicrous comments that spew forth from peoples’ vocal orifices:

NEW EDITION ON THE BLOCK? Most of you should remember when the New Kids on the Block dropped on our heads like a bag of tuneless turds. Those who don’t can simply think back to the arrival of N’Synch, add a dash of extra lameness, and should have no problem relating. My MIA friend Anthony despsied the New Kids not because they were talent-less or because they were symbolic of a terrible trend in popular music. No, he hated them because they were the white New Edition. Yep, he thought New Edition was such a great group with great songs that the mere existence of the New Kids was an affront to their greatness. Never mind that the same guy managed them or that they were basically the same group many tones lighter. He sincerely thought New Edition was our generation’s Temptations or something and NKOTB symbolized the days when white artists stole black music and passed it off as their own. The supreme irony here is that NKOTB didn’t have an ounce of soulfulness in their bodies and their songs tended to be really dorky pop sing-a-longs. New Edition, on the other hand, was just as manufactured as their Caucasian brethren although they tended to have slightly better songs. Bottom line: They both sucked and added nothing to the music world.

THE RECURRING VIRTUAL LOVELIFE OF DUDE: Nothing pleases me more than to see a racist, sexist, religiously intolerant asshole suffer, but this guy’s ability to bounce back into denial is almost admirable. He “meets” women online whom he never met in person and refers to these situations as relationships. He tells these women he loves them and, according to him, they say the same in return. He talks about his break-ups with these women in ways that make it sound as if they…actually…met. For instance, as mentioned before, one woman with a terminal illness in remission was going to come live with him and changed her mind because she didn’t want to involve him in her family melodrama including two scheming kids and a cheating Cuban hubby. Another woman was all into the idea of dating Dude, but then she decided she had to go to Florida first and find a porn star she was in love with to see how that turned out. Now Dude has a “girlfriend” in Australia who is in a bad marriage and coming to America this summer to spend a month with him. They too have never met and if all goes well, he plans to move Down Under with her. For you see, Dude is in love…again. Draw your own conclusions.

“AN OBAMA RECESSION:” I have reached the conclusion, certainly not alone, that Sean Hannity is the biggest twit amongst imbeciles on the Right. His whiney intonation aside, his entire purpose in life seems to be muddying the issues with sheer supposition and speculation, much of it calculated to elicit a negative response. But he’s not very good at it now that the Bush administration is gone and there are no more meetings in the White House to design the week’s talking points for Right Wing pundits. He wasn’t the only one, but nobody pushed harder to foster the belief in an Obama-inspired recession mere days into his presidency. I have no idea if Hannity believes his own bullshit the way Bill O’Reilley seems to, but he and his ilk are such obvious ministers of propaganda that only the stupidest or most hateful among us could buy what he’s selling. By attempting to shift the blame for the bad economy away from those responsible, namely George W and, to a lesser extent due to placing too much emphasis on the dotcom boom Bill Clinton, he tried so hard to make it look like corporate distrust of the new president was behind the bad economy…that started ten years before he took office! Nobody bought it except those two groups I named before and Hannity went on to whine about the condiments Obama places on his steak to show how he’s not a real American. I can’t make this stuff up!

I posted another, much shorter story if you're interested
http://www.mystrangestories.com/?p=91