What is it about penguins that make them so damn militant?
Now that I’ve got your attention, I’d like to discuss things that just blow me away. Things that shock the shit out of me, leaving a pile of run-off that causes people to slip and slide behind me. You know…crazy stuff! I am, after all, Captain Wacky. Here for your amusement and all that. So let’s get to Scribe’s Latest List:
- The amount of people who don’t know where to find the routing numbers on their checks.
- The enduring arrogance & sense of self-entitlement of the current Republican congress in spite of the state of their party and national perception.
- The fact that Fox News still has ratings.
- “Dancing with the Stars,” “American idol” & any other TV show that showcases mediocre “talent” to huge ratings.
- The Jonas Brothers: Damn. Just…damn.
- The novels of Victor Gischler…two of them, anyway. “The Pistol Poets” & “Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse.”
- Timothy Olyphant…isn’t he dreamy? Um…I mean…good actor! Real man’s man! Belch! Scratch! Shut up!!!
- The fact that “The View” has been on the air for so long and still no one has heard a word they’ve said because it sounds like a roomful of hostile chickens trying to peck each other to death!
- The fact that Oprah became the most powerful individual in the publishing world with no knowledge of writing or the industry and a taste that is akin to a self-help collection with quotation marks.
- People who actually waste time contacting a company about a bill that is no more than five dollars higher than the previous month’s bill.
- The current Baby Boom. It’s an obscene drain on our resources and our economy but people just keep crankin’ ‘em out. And it’s not even a demographic thing, it’s everybody!
- The coldness of some women. I swear they are more like robots than human beings.
- Mormons in the ‘hood. Lookit ‘em, walkin’ & biking around without a care in the world, their white shirts and dark ties making them an easy target for wilding teens and junkies. Yet nothing ever seems to happen to them. Maybe South Park was right, and Mormonism is the only correct faith. Quick, what did I do with my gold plates???
- Kim Kardashian…’nuff said. Ok, not ‘nuff said. Damn, that’s one perfect bundle of face, eyes, hips, tits & ass!!!! My god, I would do anything to be her chair and by chair I mean wherever she sits if you catch my drift. I would receive it with honor and distinction and brag to all my junkie buddies that I did it. Her night sweats would be the elixir that revitalized me each morning. Instead of underwear, I would wrap her hair around me and say prayers to it at night. In other words, I’ve got a good old-fashioned, typical American crush.
Well, I guess that’s it for now~
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5 comments:
-what's a routing number? LOL
-republican=clueless
-Fox News has ratings?
-That's why the only realuty tv I'll watch is Big Brother. No talent needed to be on that show.
-Jonas Brothers: I agree wholeheatedly.
-never heard of Victor Gischler.
-Timothy Olyphant. Great first name. Excelent in "The Girl Next Door", so so in "Catch and Release"
-What did they say? I didn't hear them.
-Oprah may not be knowledgeable about writing or publishing, but the woman does give a lot of money to charities, which is great.
-Saving $5 is still saving $5. It adds up.
-People will always be crankin' 'em out. That's what people do.
-I haven't noticed.
-Have you actually sat down and talked with a Mormon? I did. Weeeeird.
-Kim K. -> she's not sexy. Sorry scribe. We need a bit more than a pair of doe-like eyes and a nice (fake) rack.
I think Kim K is very sexy/attractive. Green why do you keep talking about fake women when your celeb crush Jen A is hella fake? Double standard.
Zzzzzzing!!!
Cut Green sme slack, he was waiting for the opportunity to do that thing where you do a switchaorund & use a person's words against them. It was his moment! But you're right, even Anniston's nose was on backorder.
I don't cut slack I make em...
or wait, I don't make monkeys I train em!!
eh, insert witty comeback here, I'm tired and I got not more to give lol
I never said Aniston was perfect - just betterlooking in comparison to Jolie, in my opinion. I'm not implying that I think KK is a dog looks-wise, mind you - just a matter of preference, is all.
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