A LIST TO DISTRACT FROM MY PRE-ELECTION JITTERS:

This year has brought out the ugliness in people in a way I haven’t seen in my lifetime. Racial, political and religulous lines are being drawn and crossed all over this insane nation. We truly are a nation divided and we all know what has been said about that. Back in the Eighties I predicted a day when the U.S. would split off into three different countries, two extremist and scary, one similar to the one we live in now. I stopped believing in that theory until the 2000 selection.

But until that happens, I would love to call a moratorium on some shit I’ve truly grown tired of hearing spew forth from peoples’ mouths like verbal vomit. Here are a few of them:

- SOCIALIST: The term is rarely used correctly and has become such a negative thanks to Republican spin doctoring that none of its positive attributes will ever be known. Frankly, this country could use a little of it from time to time.

- GODLESS: This is the term used against anyone who supports a woman’s right to choose or stem cell research. Memo to the Academy: It’s OK to be godless. It’s not a requirement for office and the “Godless” are often far more ethical than those with a Religious Right agenda.


- JOE DA PLUMBER: Or Samuel or whatever the FUCK his name is this week. The landscaper turned ersatz plumber has been used by McPalin’s campaign as some sort of everyman symbol and it has been an awkward joke. The joke culminated on the day McCain gave “Joe” a shout-out and Joe had stood him up. “Well, you’re all Joe the Plumber tonight!” McCain shouted to an uncertain crowd. Joe is recording a country music album. God Bless America.

- TAX & SPEND LIBERAL: This is one of those meaningless phrases like “Abortion Mills” in that it sounds inflammatory and ultimately doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. The idea that taxation should occur without the money being spent is absurd. We know neo-cons pretend to want low taxes (despite Rush Limbaugh’s insistence on taxing the poor) but even they recognize the necessity of them. So regardless of the amount of the taxes, what’s the purpose of them unless you fucking spend them on something??? Why not just admit the truth? They don’t want it spent on the poor and minorities.


- FREE MARKET ECONOMY: The proverbial nipple of neo-con paradise, this is the most annoying term currently out there to me. You would think it was in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. The Founding Fathers never had any interest in creating an unfettered marketplace where policy is dictated by the heads of corporations. Even a conservative I know admitted that corporations were never intended to be permanent and were meant as temporary entities designed for the public good. For those under twenty, “public good” is a phrase now associated with socialism and has been replaced by “free market economy” as an American virtue.

- “MY FRIENDS”: Have you ever listened to an old radio show from the 1940’s and heard the sponsor refer to the listens as “Friends?” Ever notice they were usually selling something horrific like unfiltered cigarettes or rat poison that was toxic to humans? That’s what McCain sounds like when he mumbles, “My Frieeennndsh.” When someone is that far removed from the normalcy of American life, he is not my friend or yours. He is a mouthpiece for the top 5% of the country.


- “YOU BETCHA”: I’m from Michigan. I’ve heard “You betcha” all my bloody life and there’s nothing charming or attractive about it. It is an annoying colloquialism usually used by people I don’t like, i.e old country bufoons. The very notion of Sara Palin using this type of folksy horseshit approach to get into the White House disgusts me.

- “YES, I CAN”: I gots to be fair. Even though I’m voting for him, I have grown to despise Barrack Obama’s campaign slogan. I am tempted to run against him just so I can use the phrase, “Really? Ya think?”


- TOUR DE FORCE: This has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with pretentious hack reviewers of the arts. Every well-written paragraph or catchy tune is a tour de force! This is one of those words like “paradigm” that people use to sound like they know something the rest of us don’t. Local alternative weekly The Metro Times published in Detroit is notorious for this kind of slipshod writing.

I am stopping at nine because my hands and rectum are shaking too much to keep typing. I haven't felt like this since the time I was promised a threesome and I'd already masturbated five times that day!!!

VOTE GODAMMIT!!!

VOTE OR DIIIIEEEEEEEEEE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-vCyQRBEwU