Yesterday I was on the third floor of my library scanning the shelves for non-fiction books on a certain topic I’d been asked to research. I’ve dubbed it the “serious floor” because that’s where the majority of the studying and research takes place. My forays to the non-fiction section are so infrequent that there are still sections of the floor I haven’t noticed.
As I was going between shelves, I noticed a room called the “Historical Room” off the beaten path. There were vases adorning the windows of this room and beautiful woodwork as well as a gigantic bookshelf. Surprised to see that not all the books were kept out where I was standing, I decided to venture over and get a closer look.
On my way, I glanced to the right and noticed a very attractive woman sitting at one of the tables off toward the back. She and I made brief eye contact and I wondered if she actually found me attractive or if she was simply reacting to that intuitive feeling we experience when someone is drooling in our general direction. Then I noticed the guy sitting across from her and headed for the Historical Room.
It was a writer’s and reader’s dream, bearing signs that said things like “No talking allowed” and forbidding noise above low levels. One sign assured anyone interested in sitting in there that the room was for serious studying only. I glanced inside and noticed more people that I expected to see. I had nothing to write or read with me and so I made a mental note to check the room out next time I came.
As I walked away from the room, I glanced to my left and saw her again. She paid no attention to me at all this time. Definitely a case of reacting to the feeling of being watched. Then I noticed the way she looked at the guy sitting across from her. He’s probably an asshole, I told myself. Isn’t that usually the case?
I continued my search, finally settling one a specific book that I felt had the best chance of yielding results and wound up walking past her one more time. Now she was standing up in preparation to leave and I tried very hard not to stare at what turned out to be a great ass. Still, there was noting wrong with hanging back and enjoying the view.
I watched them walk out and saw them holding hands. The stars in her eyes were matched by his and he definitely looked like a guy who had problem finding women.
“Ah,” I said and put it out of my mind. I headed to the second floor where all the fiction is located and found a Stephen King audio book to listen to in my car on the way home. As I took the stairs, they were there again, hands tightly clasped in each other’s, the only two people in the world at that moment.
I looked away and headed for the self- checkout thingee. Outside, the wind had started blowing a chilly night air and I was glad I’d worn a jacket. I thought about going for a quick walk on the grounds when I saw them yet again. This time he was walking behind her, arms wrapped around her mid-section as they duck walked, their faces plastered with smiles and their eyes dancing around in their heads.
“Well, aren’t they just so fucking happy,” I said.
Carrying my oversized book under my arm, I walked around them and to my car. When I got home, I asked myself what was wrong with me. Why had I reacted that way? I haven’t looked upon a happy couple with envy and disgust since I was in my twenties. Back then, I had company. My friend Al and I would look at them and he’d said, “Well, ain’t he the lucky motherfucker?” That was before he got married and I wound up in a decent relationship.
Did I react that way because I was attracted to the woman? I don’t think so. Maybe it was because earlier that day I’d watched the episode of Lost where the character of Desmond finds out the love of his life had waited eight years for him. Maybe the rush of emotion I’d experienced during that moment had brought back some things I’d vowed to myself before realizing what I fool I’d been. Maybe I brought my regrets with me to the third floor of the library and anyone who looked even remotely happy would have caused the same reaction.
Or maybe I was just jealous that this younger couple with the stars in their eyes and the world in their hands still had a chance to get it right~
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
DID SOMEBODY SAY "PET PEEVES LIST?"
Hark, off in the distance! Dost thou hear it? Have thee any idea what doth occur? ‘Tis the clamor of hundreds of thousands of desperate voices crying out for a new Scribe post! And the Scribe, being the well-loved humble god-like being of extraordinary girth in the one place that counts that he is, hath decided to oblige.
Just when thou didst think he’d run out of new pet peeves to list, Scribe hath done did it again, MOTHER-BITCHESSSSS!!!!!
Absorb the tender yumminess below:
UGLY PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY’RE CUTE- a co-worker comes to mind. She is hideous but she makes these facial expressions that would be cute on someone passably human looking. It’s obvious she thinks she is adorable and that just causes bile to rise in my throat, providing me with a lovely between meal snack and a burning sensation that keeps me awake. Wait; was this a negative or a positive?
PEOPLE WHO BUY BOOKS THEY’LL NEVER READ- sadly, this now includes my book. In fact, this is all about my book! The bittersweet feeling of someone purchasing a novel you’ve written is easily diminished when days weeks and months go by without the person actually reading it. I can’t take this personally, though, because lots of people purchase books so they can appear well read. But it hurts, man. It HURTS!!! WUAAAH AAA HAAA HAAA HAAA!!!! Sniff-sniff.
PEOPLE WHO TAKE UNIMPORTANT JOBS TOO SERIOUSLY- everybody reading this just pictured someone they know. Perhaps the cop that pulled you over or a former supervisor (always “former,” right?) or even some overly authoritative personal ASSistant. There’s never a shortage of people who think what they do for a living is the most important thing in the world. I call them free festival security but some people might also call them campus cops.
PEOPLE WHO TRY TO LEGISLATE MORALITY- they exist on both sides of the so-called “aisle.” Leftists and Right Wingers alike think they can enact laws that can change the way people think when we all know the only real way to accomplish this is to let the aliens conclude their multi-generational breeding program! I have no patience for deluded people. (Actually I find it easier to believe in alien life than in God but I find it difficult to believe either one would find us even remotely useful)
DICK CHENEY & HIS ILK- for the first time in U.S. history, a former vice-president has attempted to remain relevant by bad-mouthing the current administration. In a move so tacky and classless it could only come from someone of debatable homo-sapien origin, Darth Cheney has gone on some kind of media blitz to tear down President Obama a mere half a year into his term. Apparently bitter that his “legacy” is an international embarrassment, he has reinvented himself as an agitator in favor of Cold War era politics.
FORMERLY HOT/CURRENTLY PREGNANT- this is not much as an observation as an epidemic! I have this theory that where I work someone winds up knocked up every time a bell rings. I’ve literally never been in a building with more preganant women! One chick is particular whose bnath water I would drink daily tried his damndest to keep her massive, parasite-filled belly from me! Now she sits next to me at work! Such injustices continue to happen because the president won't write back to me about my stop all births initiative!
HABITUAL PLAN MAKER/BREAKERS- who hasn’t been guilty of this from time to time? But one guy I know is the fucking king of broken plans and it has truly grown old. Nothing pisses me off more than some guy who nods and smiles and is all like, "Yeaaahhhhh, that sounds cool. Let's do it" only to either pull a no-call no-show or hem and haw until it's too late! Well, ok one thing pisses me off more: The fact that his bitch-ass did it before I could! That's my shit no one else's! Son of a bitch!
PEOPLE WHO GIVE ANIMALS HUMAN NAMES- everybody wants to kick my ass right now, I know it. Sorry, but this is a genuine pet peeve…wait. “Pet” peeve? A clever play on words! AHHHH haaa haa haaa! I can’t stop holding my sides it’s so funnnyyyyyy! Whew! Ok…ok…all right…ok. Whew…yeah, giving animals human names just places them on the wrong level in my opinion. No animal I’ve ever named has had anything resembling a human name. I would do the same with any children I might have!
Ok, back on Hiatus I go!
Just when thou didst think he’d run out of new pet peeves to list, Scribe hath done did it again, MOTHER-BITCHESSSSS!!!!!
Absorb the tender yumminess below:
UGLY PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY’RE CUTE- a co-worker comes to mind. She is hideous but she makes these facial expressions that would be cute on someone passably human looking. It’s obvious she thinks she is adorable and that just causes bile to rise in my throat, providing me with a lovely between meal snack and a burning sensation that keeps me awake. Wait; was this a negative or a positive?
PEOPLE WHO BUY BOOKS THEY’LL NEVER READ- sadly, this now includes my book. In fact, this is all about my book! The bittersweet feeling of someone purchasing a novel you’ve written is easily diminished when days weeks and months go by without the person actually reading it. I can’t take this personally, though, because lots of people purchase books so they can appear well read. But it hurts, man. It HURTS!!! WUAAAH AAA HAAA HAAA HAAA!!!! Sniff-sniff.
PEOPLE WHO TAKE UNIMPORTANT JOBS TOO SERIOUSLY- everybody reading this just pictured someone they know. Perhaps the cop that pulled you over or a former supervisor (always “former,” right?) or even some overly authoritative personal ASSistant. There’s never a shortage of people who think what they do for a living is the most important thing in the world. I call them free festival security but some people might also call them campus cops.
PEOPLE WHO TRY TO LEGISLATE MORALITY- they exist on both sides of the so-called “aisle.” Leftists and Right Wingers alike think they can enact laws that can change the way people think when we all know the only real way to accomplish this is to let the aliens conclude their multi-generational breeding program! I have no patience for deluded people. (Actually I find it easier to believe in alien life than in God but I find it difficult to believe either one would find us even remotely useful)
DICK CHENEY & HIS ILK- for the first time in U.S. history, a former vice-president has attempted to remain relevant by bad-mouthing the current administration. In a move so tacky and classless it could only come from someone of debatable homo-sapien origin, Darth Cheney has gone on some kind of media blitz to tear down President Obama a mere half a year into his term. Apparently bitter that his “legacy” is an international embarrassment, he has reinvented himself as an agitator in favor of Cold War era politics.
FORMERLY HOT/CURRENTLY PREGNANT- this is not much as an observation as an epidemic! I have this theory that where I work someone winds up knocked up every time a bell rings. I’ve literally never been in a building with more preganant women! One chick is particular whose bnath water I would drink daily tried his damndest to keep her massive, parasite-filled belly from me! Now she sits next to me at work! Such injustices continue to happen because the president won't write back to me about my stop all births initiative!
HABITUAL PLAN MAKER/BREAKERS- who hasn’t been guilty of this from time to time? But one guy I know is the fucking king of broken plans and it has truly grown old. Nothing pisses me off more than some guy who nods and smiles and is all like, "Yeaaahhhhh, that sounds cool. Let's do it" only to either pull a no-call no-show or hem and haw until it's too late! Well, ok one thing pisses me off more: The fact that his bitch-ass did it before I could! That's my shit no one else's! Son of a bitch!
PEOPLE WHO GIVE ANIMALS HUMAN NAMES- everybody wants to kick my ass right now, I know it. Sorry, but this is a genuine pet peeve…wait. “Pet” peeve? A clever play on words! AHHHH haaa haa haaa! I can’t stop holding my sides it’s so funnnyyyyyy! Whew! Ok…ok…all right…ok. Whew…yeah, giving animals human names just places them on the wrong level in my opinion. No animal I’ve ever named has had anything resembling a human name. I would do the same with any children I might have!
Ok, back on Hiatus I go!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
HIATUS
I am placing this blog on hold for a while. Too much is going on right now, both personally and professionally. Besides, nobody is really commenting here anymore anyway.
My book is now technically out although you might have to wait a bit longer to be able to order it. I will keep you updated as developments occur. In the meantime, for those of you without Facebook, here is my novel prominently displayed at the Ann Arbor, MI. Book Festival.
For now, please come see me at this blog: http://christopher-nadeau.blogspot.com /
or on Facebook.
Thanks for all the years of dedicated reading and commenting. I love you all and would sleep with very single one of you, one at a time or all at once!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
ANOTHER LIST?
Americans never tire of lists. I do, but I’m not exactly the average American. I rarely bathe, I use TV as an educational tool and I don’t hate the idea of gay marriage or accept the Bible as literally written. I’m a wacko!
Anyway, here are a few things what comed to mind when I was recently thinking about ludicrous comments that spew forth from peoples’ vocal orifices:
NEW EDITION ON THE BLOCK? Most of you should remember when the New Kids on the Block dropped on our heads like a bag of tuneless turds. Those who don’t can simply think back to the arrival of N’Synch, add a dash of extra lameness, and should have no problem relating. My MIA friend Anthony despsied the New Kids not because they were talent-less or because they were symbolic of a terrible trend in popular music. No, he hated them because they were the white New Edition. Yep, he thought New Edition was such a great group with great songs that the mere existence of the New Kids was an affront to their greatness. Never mind that the same guy managed them or that they were basically the same group many tones lighter. He sincerely thought New Edition was our generation’s Temptations or something and NKOTB symbolized the days when white artists stole black music and passed it off as their own. The supreme irony here is that NKOTB didn’t have an ounce of soulfulness in their bodies and their songs tended to be really dorky pop sing-a-longs. New Edition, on the other hand, was just as manufactured as their Caucasian brethren although they tended to have slightly better songs. Bottom line: They both sucked and added nothing to the music world.
THE RECURRING VIRTUAL LOVELIFE OF DUDE: Nothing pleases me more than to see a racist, sexist, religiously intolerant asshole suffer, but this guy’s ability to bounce back into denial is almost admirable. He “meets” women online whom he never met in person and refers to these situations as relationships. He tells these women he loves them and, according to him, they say the same in return. He talks about his break-ups with these women in ways that make it sound as if they…actually…met. For instance, as mentioned before, one woman with a terminal illness in remission was going to come live with him and changed her mind because she didn’t want to involve him in her family melodrama including two scheming kids and a cheating Cuban hubby. Another woman was all into the idea of dating Dude, but then she decided she had to go to Florida first and find a porn star she was in love with to see how that turned out. Now Dude has a “girlfriend” in Australia who is in a bad marriage and coming to America this summer to spend a month with him. They too have never met and if all goes well, he plans to move Down Under with her. For you see, Dude is in love…again. Draw your own conclusions.
“AN OBAMA RECESSION:” I have reached the conclusion, certainly not alone, that Sean Hannity is the biggest twit amongst imbeciles on the Right. His whiney intonation aside, his entire purpose in life seems to be muddying the issues with sheer supposition and speculation, much of it calculated to elicit a negative response. But he’s not very good at it now that the Bush administration is gone and there are no more meetings in the White House to design the week’s talking points for Right Wing pundits. He wasn’t the only one, but nobody pushed harder to foster the belief in an Obama-inspired recession mere days into his presidency. I have no idea if Hannity believes his own bullshit the way Bill O’Reilley seems to, but he and his ilk are such obvious ministers of propaganda that only the stupidest or most hateful among us could buy what he’s selling. By attempting to shift the blame for the bad economy away from those responsible, namely George W and, to a lesser extent due to placing too much emphasis on the dotcom boom Bill Clinton, he tried so hard to make it look like corporate distrust of the new president was behind the bad economy…that started ten years before he took office! Nobody bought it except those two groups I named before and Hannity went on to whine about the condiments Obama places on his steak to show how he’s not a real American. I can’t make this stuff up!
I posted another, much shorter story if you're interested
http://www.mystrangestories.com/?p=91
Anyway, here are a few things what comed to mind when I was recently thinking about ludicrous comments that spew forth from peoples’ vocal orifices:
NEW EDITION ON THE BLOCK? Most of you should remember when the New Kids on the Block dropped on our heads like a bag of tuneless turds. Those who don’t can simply think back to the arrival of N’Synch, add a dash of extra lameness, and should have no problem relating. My MIA friend Anthony despsied the New Kids not because they were talent-less or because they were symbolic of a terrible trend in popular music. No, he hated them because they were the white New Edition. Yep, he thought New Edition was such a great group with great songs that the mere existence of the New Kids was an affront to their greatness. Never mind that the same guy managed them or that they were basically the same group many tones lighter. He sincerely thought New Edition was our generation’s Temptations or something and NKOTB symbolized the days when white artists stole black music and passed it off as their own. The supreme irony here is that NKOTB didn’t have an ounce of soulfulness in their bodies and their songs tended to be really dorky pop sing-a-longs. New Edition, on the other hand, was just as manufactured as their Caucasian brethren although they tended to have slightly better songs. Bottom line: They both sucked and added nothing to the music world.
THE RECURRING VIRTUAL LOVELIFE OF DUDE: Nothing pleases me more than to see a racist, sexist, religiously intolerant asshole suffer, but this guy’s ability to bounce back into denial is almost admirable. He “meets” women online whom he never met in person and refers to these situations as relationships. He tells these women he loves them and, according to him, they say the same in return. He talks about his break-ups with these women in ways that make it sound as if they…actually…met. For instance, as mentioned before, one woman with a terminal illness in remission was going to come live with him and changed her mind because she didn’t want to involve him in her family melodrama including two scheming kids and a cheating Cuban hubby. Another woman was all into the idea of dating Dude, but then she decided she had to go to Florida first and find a porn star she was in love with to see how that turned out. Now Dude has a “girlfriend” in Australia who is in a bad marriage and coming to America this summer to spend a month with him. They too have never met and if all goes well, he plans to move Down Under with her. For you see, Dude is in love…again. Draw your own conclusions.
“AN OBAMA RECESSION:” I have reached the conclusion, certainly not alone, that Sean Hannity is the biggest twit amongst imbeciles on the Right. His whiney intonation aside, his entire purpose in life seems to be muddying the issues with sheer supposition and speculation, much of it calculated to elicit a negative response. But he’s not very good at it now that the Bush administration is gone and there are no more meetings in the White House to design the week’s talking points for Right Wing pundits. He wasn’t the only one, but nobody pushed harder to foster the belief in an Obama-inspired recession mere days into his presidency. I have no idea if Hannity believes his own bullshit the way Bill O’Reilley seems to, but he and his ilk are such obvious ministers of propaganda that only the stupidest or most hateful among us could buy what he’s selling. By attempting to shift the blame for the bad economy away from those responsible, namely George W and, to a lesser extent due to placing too much emphasis on the dotcom boom Bill Clinton, he tried so hard to make it look like corporate distrust of the new president was behind the bad economy…that started ten years before he took office! Nobody bought it except those two groups I named before and Hannity went on to whine about the condiments Obama places on his steak to show how he’s not a real American. I can’t make this stuff up!
I posted another, much shorter story if you're interested
http://www.mystrangestories.com/?p=91
Saturday, May 9, 2009
HELP A...PARTIAL BRUTHA OUT!!!
Below is a link to a story I posted on a site called theweirdcrap.com. I'm the new guy around those parts so I need comments. If you're so inclined and you enjoy receiving oral pleasure, please drop by, read as much as you can stomach and provide a half-thought out response even if you hated it and want to kick my ass for wasting your precious time:
http://www.mystrangestories.com/?p=89
http://www.mystrangestories.com/?p=89
Thursday, May 7, 2009
SCRIBE'S LIST O' ASTOUNDING SHITE
What is it about penguins that make them so damn militant?
Now that I’ve got your attention, I’d like to discuss things that just blow me away. Things that shock the shit out of me, leaving a pile of run-off that causes people to slip and slide behind me. You know…crazy stuff! I am, after all, Captain Wacky. Here for your amusement and all that. So let’s get to Scribe’s Latest List:
- The amount of people who don’t know where to find the routing numbers on their checks.
- The enduring arrogance & sense of self-entitlement of the current Republican congress in spite of the state of their party and national perception.
- The fact that Fox News still has ratings.
- “Dancing with the Stars,” “American idol” & any other TV show that showcases mediocre “talent” to huge ratings.
- The Jonas Brothers: Damn. Just…damn.
- The novels of Victor Gischler…two of them, anyway. “The Pistol Poets” & “Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse.”
- Timothy Olyphant…isn’t he dreamy? Um…I mean…good actor! Real man’s man! Belch! Scratch! Shut up!!!
- The fact that “The View” has been on the air for so long and still no one has heard a word they’ve said because it sounds like a roomful of hostile chickens trying to peck each other to death!
- The fact that Oprah became the most powerful individual in the publishing world with no knowledge of writing or the industry and a taste that is akin to a self-help collection with quotation marks.
- People who actually waste time contacting a company about a bill that is no more than five dollars higher than the previous month’s bill.
- The current Baby Boom. It’s an obscene drain on our resources and our economy but people just keep crankin’ ‘em out. And it’s not even a demographic thing, it’s everybody!
- The coldness of some women. I swear they are more like robots than human beings.
- Mormons in the ‘hood. Lookit ‘em, walkin’ & biking around without a care in the world, their white shirts and dark ties making them an easy target for wilding teens and junkies. Yet nothing ever seems to happen to them. Maybe South Park was right, and Mormonism is the only correct faith. Quick, what did I do with my gold plates???
- Kim Kardashian…’nuff said. Ok, not ‘nuff said. Damn, that’s one perfect bundle of face, eyes, hips, tits & ass!!!! My god, I would do anything to be her chair and by chair I mean wherever she sits if you catch my drift. I would receive it with honor and distinction and brag to all my junkie buddies that I did it. Her night sweats would be the elixir that revitalized me each morning. Instead of underwear, I would wrap her hair around me and say prayers to it at night. In other words, I’ve got a good old-fashioned, typical American crush.
Well, I guess that’s it for now~
Now that I’ve got your attention, I’d like to discuss things that just blow me away. Things that shock the shit out of me, leaving a pile of run-off that causes people to slip and slide behind me. You know…crazy stuff! I am, after all, Captain Wacky. Here for your amusement and all that. So let’s get to Scribe’s Latest List:
- The amount of people who don’t know where to find the routing numbers on their checks.
- The enduring arrogance & sense of self-entitlement of the current Republican congress in spite of the state of their party and national perception.
- The fact that Fox News still has ratings.
- “Dancing with the Stars,” “American idol” & any other TV show that showcases mediocre “talent” to huge ratings.
- The Jonas Brothers: Damn. Just…damn.
- The novels of Victor Gischler…two of them, anyway. “The Pistol Poets” & “Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse.”
- Timothy Olyphant…isn’t he dreamy? Um…I mean…good actor! Real man’s man! Belch! Scratch! Shut up!!!
- The fact that “The View” has been on the air for so long and still no one has heard a word they’ve said because it sounds like a roomful of hostile chickens trying to peck each other to death!
- The fact that Oprah became the most powerful individual in the publishing world with no knowledge of writing or the industry and a taste that is akin to a self-help collection with quotation marks.
- People who actually waste time contacting a company about a bill that is no more than five dollars higher than the previous month’s bill.
- The current Baby Boom. It’s an obscene drain on our resources and our economy but people just keep crankin’ ‘em out. And it’s not even a demographic thing, it’s everybody!
- The coldness of some women. I swear they are more like robots than human beings.
- Mormons in the ‘hood. Lookit ‘em, walkin’ & biking around without a care in the world, their white shirts and dark ties making them an easy target for wilding teens and junkies. Yet nothing ever seems to happen to them. Maybe South Park was right, and Mormonism is the only correct faith. Quick, what did I do with my gold plates???
- Kim Kardashian…’nuff said. Ok, not ‘nuff said. Damn, that’s one perfect bundle of face, eyes, hips, tits & ass!!!! My god, I would do anything to be her chair and by chair I mean wherever she sits if you catch my drift. I would receive it with honor and distinction and brag to all my junkie buddies that I did it. Her night sweats would be the elixir that revitalized me each morning. Instead of underwear, I would wrap her hair around me and say prayers to it at night. In other words, I’ve got a good old-fashioned, typical American crush.
Well, I guess that’s it for now~
Monday, May 4, 2009
WHY I AM DONE WITH NON-BLOGGER SITES (Reason 440,929,067)
Here’s the deal: Unlike most of the sad, lonely walking annoyances who use Facebook as a form of virtual self-validation, I use it for its original purpose: Namely, shameless self-promotion and networking with others of like-minded whorishness.
I don’t use Facebook to tell you how my day went or what I think about yummy sunsets. I don’t have or particularly want or like children so it’s not an outlet for bragging about what my seed helped create. There are no old friends from my past tech savvy enough to manipulate a mouse let alone set up a Facebook profile. And I’m not interested in providing a confessional into the deeply disturbed psyche that is my so-called mind. I do that here and it’s infinitely more satisfying than dealing with the cloistered sycophants on Geekbook!
You’re probably wondering why I’m all angry and stuff and such. As some of my old-time readers already know, I often endure constant, nagging criticism in my life. Even my fucking job calls for me to sit and be “coached” on my performance twice a month. I also subject myself to critiquing of my writing twice a month so the last thing I need is a goddam criticism of the way I run my motherfucking Facebook page!!!
If you’re like me, desperately holding onto whatever semblance of sanity you can in a world of increasing madness, you probably agree that the dumb shit people so readily indulge in on Facebook is a waste of time. For instance, those goddam surveys. I used to enjoy them on blogger because they were rare and I created my own from time to time. For some reason, Facebook zombies live for them.
Most of you have never met me in person, but you’ve read enough to know I don’t take shit like that seriously. In fact, I create surveys for the express purpose of writing hopefully amusing replies. I was recently criticized for not being serious with my comments on a particular survey or most of them, for that matter. In fact, when I asked someone if they’d read my reply to a specific question, a reply that happened to be truthful and honest, I was told no because it was probably something stupid.
Now, besides the urge to break my foot off in this person’s rarely-seen, I found the comment sobering in that it clearly differentiated me from the zombies whose inane observations and repugnant obsession with Facekook make it such an unappealing yet useful site. Would you like to know the specific reasons I was criticized?
For one thing, “all the other men” on the site write about their children and “the wife” and how blessed be the quality time spent listening to both of them piss and moan about everything. I informed this person that my page is an author’s page and we don’t waste time discussing wifey or hubby’s toe-jam fungus and the cute way he or she drools on their pillow at night before farting on my leg and causing a ripple effect under the sheets.
Author’s pages tend to be more about what we’re writing with the occasional detour into some brief observation on life. I was then informed that no one knows that my page is supposed to be like that.
“So the picture of my book isn’t enough of a clue?” I said.
Nobody knows you wrote that book, was the response.
“So the words ‘author of the book pictured above’ under the cover photo weren’t clue number two?” I said.
People don’t pay attention to things, came the reply. Last time I checked, idiots are idiots and there’s nothing that can be done to change that. The other authors in my friend list know. The readers of my blog know. Those I have met over the years know. Looks like the only one that doesn’t know is the person with the gall to criticize what they –let’s say it together now – DON’T KNOW!!!
So I guess I’m an insincere jack-off because I try to have fun with something I think is pretty dumb. I guess because I don’t go along with the herd and move with the flow I am somehow a bad person whose mere presence is an offensive waste of time. I guess saying brussells sprouts taste like an old man farting isn’t funny to the straight-laced set.
Y’know, I was reluctant to migrate to Facebook because I had a bad feeling about it and now I know my trepidation was justified. And still there is no more pure form of online esxpression than good ol’ Blogger, long may it reign.
So for those of you who are on my Facebook list, expect a significantly reduced presence unless by some miracle my novel actually comes out.
Scribe out!
(Still can’t make that shit sound cool!)
I don’t use Facebook to tell you how my day went or what I think about yummy sunsets. I don’t have or particularly want or like children so it’s not an outlet for bragging about what my seed helped create. There are no old friends from my past tech savvy enough to manipulate a mouse let alone set up a Facebook profile. And I’m not interested in providing a confessional into the deeply disturbed psyche that is my so-called mind. I do that here and it’s infinitely more satisfying than dealing with the cloistered sycophants on Geekbook!
You’re probably wondering why I’m all angry and stuff and such. As some of my old-time readers already know, I often endure constant, nagging criticism in my life. Even my fucking job calls for me to sit and be “coached” on my performance twice a month. I also subject myself to critiquing of my writing twice a month so the last thing I need is a goddam criticism of the way I run my motherfucking Facebook page!!!
If you’re like me, desperately holding onto whatever semblance of sanity you can in a world of increasing madness, you probably agree that the dumb shit people so readily indulge in on Facebook is a waste of time. For instance, those goddam surveys. I used to enjoy them on blogger because they were rare and I created my own from time to time. For some reason, Facebook zombies live for them.
Most of you have never met me in person, but you’ve read enough to know I don’t take shit like that seriously. In fact, I create surveys for the express purpose of writing hopefully amusing replies. I was recently criticized for not being serious with my comments on a particular survey or most of them, for that matter. In fact, when I asked someone if they’d read my reply to a specific question, a reply that happened to be truthful and honest, I was told no because it was probably something stupid.
Now, besides the urge to break my foot off in this person’s rarely-seen, I found the comment sobering in that it clearly differentiated me from the zombies whose inane observations and repugnant obsession with Facekook make it such an unappealing yet useful site. Would you like to know the specific reasons I was criticized?
For one thing, “all the other men” on the site write about their children and “the wife” and how blessed be the quality time spent listening to both of them piss and moan about everything. I informed this person that my page is an author’s page and we don’t waste time discussing wifey or hubby’s toe-jam fungus and the cute way he or she drools on their pillow at night before farting on my leg and causing a ripple effect under the sheets.
Author’s pages tend to be more about what we’re writing with the occasional detour into some brief observation on life. I was then informed that no one knows that my page is supposed to be like that.
“So the picture of my book isn’t enough of a clue?” I said.
Nobody knows you wrote that book, was the response.
“So the words ‘author of the book pictured above’ under the cover photo weren’t clue number two?” I said.
People don’t pay attention to things, came the reply. Last time I checked, idiots are idiots and there’s nothing that can be done to change that. The other authors in my friend list know. The readers of my blog know. Those I have met over the years know. Looks like the only one that doesn’t know is the person with the gall to criticize what they –let’s say it together now – DON’T KNOW!!!
So I guess I’m an insincere jack-off because I try to have fun with something I think is pretty dumb. I guess because I don’t go along with the herd and move with the flow I am somehow a bad person whose mere presence is an offensive waste of time. I guess saying brussells sprouts taste like an old man farting isn’t funny to the straight-laced set.
Y’know, I was reluctant to migrate to Facebook because I had a bad feeling about it and now I know my trepidation was justified. And still there is no more pure form of online esxpression than good ol’ Blogger, long may it reign.
So for those of you who are on my Facebook list, expect a significantly reduced presence unless by some miracle my novel actually comes out.
Scribe out!
(Still can’t make that shit sound cool!)
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