Somewhere out there two people have copies of my novel. Two random guys I’ve never met before who didn’t know anyone associated with my book approached my publisher and purchased sample copies of the book even after having been told they weren’t the final version.
That means there was something about what was written on the back cover or the image on the front or maybe even the title that was so intriguing to them they had to have it.
I am still kind of stunned, I guess. I wasn’t expecting to hear that last night during my writer’s workshop. I was expecting to hear how the book would soon be ready along with one of my colleagues’, whose Christmas-themed book is also coming out along with mine.
It’s an odd feeling. A feeling I always believed I’d experience but also one I never really thought would happen. Does that make sense? I guess that’s the eternal, inner conflict of the writer. We have just enough conceit to believe people want to read our work, but not enough to think anybody ever will. No wonder the Jewish people excel in the field, they are culturally predisposed!
There have also been copies sent to various reviewers in the hopes of getting them to…you know, review it. The likelihood of a new writer getting reviewed is pretty low, but my chances are a tad better because the book is coming from a publisher with various titles to offer.
I chose this blog to write about this because the other one is a “professional” blog. The last thing I need is to come off like some self-loathing amateur. Yes, I have been published before, but it was always non-fiction articles I had little to no emotional connection to. This is different. This is an actual part of me on parchment for others to love or hate or find lots of faults with. Now I understand why George Lucas doesn’t pay attention to reviews when he releases something new.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury of legendary mythmaker status yet. Each review is one step closer to credibility and membership in the Authors Guild. Not to mention writing groupies! If you thought rock & hip hop star groupies were hot!!!! Well, they are but sometimes writing groupies can be, too. I mean, I guess. I haven’t really met any I would classify as “hot,” although there have been some attractive ones…
As the trainers say at work, I’ll have to put that one on the parking lot and look into it for future discussions.
In the meantime, my book is out there in the sweaty hands of two people I have never met or spoken to or corresponded with or even stalked nekkid in the bushes outside their houses. These people, if they read it or at least part of it, will evaluate my work in one of three ways: Positive, negative or indifferent. They may or not not mention it to their friends (although my readership will probably consist of angry loners and social misfits) and they might even go online to register their praise or disgust. I have no power over this at all, and it feels both liberating and intimidating.
If I’m going to have any longevity, I need to adjust to this feeling ASAP or risk becoming one of those moody idiots whose attitudes are so negative that they can hardly communicate without going into a blind rage of epic…
WHAT!? You disagree? Really? How quaint! I’ll be sure to schedule myself to give a rat’s ass sometime next year after fuckin' your mother!!! In fact, you can come talk to me about it personally right now! Sound good, motherbitch? Good! Bring it, motherfucker! I’m all man and I’ll prove it by resorting to mindless violence! Now what! HUH!? NOW WHAAAAaaaaaatttttt?
Good thing I’m so even-kieled or I could seriously lose it and get all resentful and stuff.
Besides, if I can handle the possibility of negative critiques from you guys, I suppose I can handle them from strangers. Then there’s the possibility of people loving it and the awesome pressure to perform next time and the time after...kinda like my porn start days when I was known as Toke Mansfield!!!
Wow.
I just realized I'm embarking on a whole new era and I haven't even changed my underwear.
If you'll excuse me...
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4 comments:
Sounds like your in limbo. Write something naughty on your professional type blog to relieve the pressure.
My Dearest? Whatta ya mean no writing groupies??? You have thousands......millions...
Just breathe....you know I'm a phone call/text away if ya need me :)
You mean the thousands who commented on this post?
i think you should stalk those two readers and menace them until they give you a review of your book.
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