THOUGHTS ON MYSPACE:

(Also posted on my MySpace page)

I am not alone in not being a fan of Myspace.com. In fact, my attitudes toward the site, while often rather negative, are pretty moderate when compared to that of others. “Most intelligent people prefer Facebook,” I’ve heard. “Myspace is for child molestors and horny weirdoes,” I’ve been told.

Wow. With a ringing endorsement like that, it’s no wonder I went into the situation with a slightly negative outlook. All those news stories involving under-age children didn’t help convince me otherwise.

For years now I have had my Web presence on blogger.com as a writer. It seemed only natural to gravitate toward a place where actual writing was taking place. I’ve built a small and strangely loyal fan base there, even more devoted than my Yahoo! Message boards people from years ago. But my publisher wanted us to have a Web presence in several venues, and so I went ahead and created a Myspace page.

This wasn’t my first time doing so. Once before, at one of my blog readers’ requests, I’d created a page. That one was a parody site where I was spreading the “ministry” of a made-up religion based around a belief in nothing as everything. I wasn’t fond of the site at the time or its formatting and so I let the page fall into obscurity.

The site I currently have is a different matter entirely. It is a “professional” page, or at least as professional as one can get on Myspace. Unlike business networking sites like “LinkedIn,” Myspace is a mainly recreational site for those who enjoy…well, I’m not really sure what the hell it’s for. Let me take that back. If you’re a teenager it makes perfect sense. For adults, the site is baffling.

I am not one to hide his disgust or dislike; it’s simply not a skill I chose to cultivate in life. The same goes for websites of dubious usefulness. The whole point of placing myself on websites is networking and marketing. But I’m not some infomercial guy. Not everyone is going to want to buy my book, and frankly, I don’t necessarily want everyone to read it. I have a demographic for a reason. Basically, if you are someone who thinks MySpace is super-keen and outta sight, you might not fit into it.

That isn’t to say all those who enjoy MySpace are idiots or somehow unworthy of the godlike greatness that is I. But if you took it that way, you’re one of those MySpace people who don’t get irony and, again, probably won’t appreciate my work very much. How do I know this? Simple: There is such a thing as a “Myspace personality,” and I ain’t got it.

For one thing, MySpace types don’t tend to be anarchists in any sense of the word. In fact, they are often the quintessential rule-followers, generally of at least moderate conservatism, and they really like having their egos boosted. By contrast, the blogger personality types are much broader and varied. Someone like me has a much better chance of encountering a like-minded soul there than on Myspace.

Myspace heads (my name for them) also tend to enjoy silly interactive applications with names like “Hotties” and “Mafia Wars.” I find these things baffling and annoying and rarely if ever join them. At one point I was advised to join Hotties because it would network me with people, yet all I’ve seen of it is a series of virtual people purchasing. Yes, Hotties is a way for people to pretend to buy and sell each other like they’re slaves. Call me overly insensitive…what did you just call me? Fuck you! I’ll show you a muhfuka that’s oversensitive! How could you say that? No, don’t touch me! Just leave me alone! You don’t love me!

…The difference between those reading this on Myspace and those on blogger is that the Myspace people didn’t get it all. That’s probably why I am constantly being made fun of for having a page there.

Irony has no place there. Sarcasm has even less, and apparently opinions that contradict the Myspace cult are met with hostility. “What his problem?” they will say. To which I would reply simply, “You.”

My real beef with the Myspace heads is their apparent reluctance to take notice of anything substantive. If one posts a blog or a link or anything that would get noticed right away on Facebook, there is little to no feedback on it. As a writer who actually likes o be read, I find it pointless to post things nobody’s reading…call me kooky. In fact, I only use the Myspace blog nowadays so I can link it on Facebook.

I don’t’ find many aspiring writers on Myspace, and when I do they tend to be authors of…how shall I put this delicately? Stuff I wouldn’t read to a dying man whose only final wish was to hear a fictional narrative before passing into the vast nothingness that waits beyond.

By contrast, on Facebook I networked with significant writers whose friend lists have exposed me to more. Within a month, I had as many friends as I had on Myspace after seven. I now have more.

Look, if anybody wants to read my work and potentially get something out of it, I’m all for it. But my experience tells me there are certain people who just won’t and that’s okay. Reading is the last of the selective arts because of the time involved. In this age of interactive silliness designed to distract us from what’s really going on in the world, it’s only natural that entire websites would fall prey to that mentality.

I will keep the MySpace page up because it’s good to be “out there” as much as possible. Perhaps I’ll even find something positive in it at some point but it’s just not my style. If anybody has a problem with that or views me negatively for it, they are free to comment to me about it. Of course, that would take away precious time from being told how “hot” they are, so I won’t hold my breath~