SCRIBE'S TOP FIVE REASONS YOU ARE IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP

For Men. The female list will be posted in a few days:


1. HER FRIENDS & FAMILY CAN SAY WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT ABOUT YOU & YOURS, BUT YOURS BETTER NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HER & HERS- It doesn't matter what hers say, they are either correct or have the right to say it. But yours do not because apparently she and her friends and family are impervious to criticism. This kind of primal, tribal mentality will only get worse as time goes, even possibly leading to the old "the kids are mine" outlook that leaves men feeling castrated and purposeless.

2. SHE TREATS ORAL SEX LIKE A FRINGE BENEFIT OF HOLIDAYS OR BIRTHDAYS- Remember when she blew you like it was a kiss? No? Well, in that case you're a dumb-ass for getting involved with her in the first place! But if she did and she's not orally fixated, she was only doing it to make you think she's the ultimate lay. Wait until she finds out you're not the ultimate catch she thought you were. If you're lucky, she might go down on you for your birthday or just long enough to cause arousal, but you'll be fortunate if her knees come with a key to unlock them! Especially if you have kids and she goes into that "We're parents now" shit where sex is a thing designed to acheive a singular goal and you're a pervert for still wanting it. Oh, but "GOD" invented marriage so obviously it's all part of the plan.

3. SHE THINKS YOUR INTERESTS ARE "SILLY" & DOESN'T MIND SAYING SO IN FRONT OF COMPLETE STRANGERS- In the beginning she may have feigned interest in what you liked. Maybe she went with you to a game or a science fiction, fantasy or action movie, but now the very fact that you have memorobillia from your hobbies is cause for scorn and derision. She now contemptuously refers to your silly little habits as the activities of an adolescent mind while boring you to tears with her constant viewing of HGTV and procedural crime dramas that require no imagination and even less intelligence. Enjoy!

4. SHE TELLS YOU SHE'S NOT SURE IF SHE LOVES YOU OR HER PREVIOUS GUY MORE-That guy she was with before you who either (a) died, (b) dumped her, (c) cheated on her, or (d) started wearing her panties sure was great. So great in fact that they're not together anymore. But she doesn't mind comparing you to him whenever she feels the need. Oh, but when you mention his negaive traits of which there were several, she stonewalls you until the next time she feels the need to do it again. On top of all that, she still can't decide who she loves more but says reassuring things like, "I'm with you now." If you marry or move in with this woman, you might as well buy your Jerry Springer tickets now.

5. THE VERY ACT OF RAISING YOUR VOICE CAUSES HER TO CRY "ABUSE!"- Maybe she was knocked around before you got to her, maybe she wasn't. Either way, she seems to think a male expressing anger is a prologue to a beatdown. If she was beaten before, you can understand it and try to work with her unless she uses it as a weapon. Since you're not a guy who hits women (I hope) you should only tolerate so much of this before you bolt. If she was never physically abused, she's either a panicky bitch or a manipulative one. It's your choice. Either whisper for the rest of your life, or yell goodbye over your shoulder as you get in your car and drive the fuck away.