ONE DUMB ASS SURVEY

Here's an example of the quality of survey/drivel one finds on Facebook. I did my best with the answers...don't hate me 'cause I'm dutiful:



Be honest, who were you texting a little while ago? I am so tired of this urban myth! I work for a cellular company and there is no such thing as text messaging! if there were, I'd know about it!



This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Yes.



What is something that you realized today? It's hotter than a hippos asscrack today!!!



Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yes. A few.



Who was the first person you talked to today? The dog.



How late did you stay up last night, why? Midnight. I'm an idiot.



Who's the last person you shared a drink with? A traitor.



Have you ever ridden a horse? Well, she was a large woman but I wouldn't exactly call her a "horse."



You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it?Love Potion#69



Are you anything like you were at this point last year? No.



Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't? Yep



When's the last time you talked with the opposite sex on the phone? What am I 12???



Do you think you are a good person? Remains to be seen. Let others make the call when I'm dead and gone.



Do you miss the way things used to be? Yes.



Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? Sure- Green's hands are so rough!



Are you a patient person? I don't have time for this shit! Ask somebody else!



Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? Are you coming onto me?



Are you afraid of death/dying? Nah.



How's your heart lately? Perfecly fine, I tell you! Perfectly FUCKING FINE!!!



When was the last time you cried? When did Dr Quinn Medicine Woman go off the air?



Think a lot before you fall asleep? Not anymore.



What do you think your number 1 is doing right now? Commanding the Starship Enterprise? You should see what number 2 is doing- run for you lives!



Who would be the first person to know if you got pregnant? My priest, which is interesting because I'm not Catholic.



Do you care what others think about you? Sometimes.



Do you enjoy late night phone conversations? I used to. Not anymore.



Were you happy when you woke up today? I woke up at 5:00am to go to work...I was ecstatic!



Do you know how to change a diaper? No but if you do please help...I can barely sit down in this thing now!



Do you keep a planner? One would have to be capable of makng plans first.



Closest green object to you? He's reading this right now wink-wink.



What was the first thing you did when you woke up? Went back to bed and said "muthafuck work and alllll dem bitch-ass ho's up in that piece!" Then got up and ran for dear life so I wouldn't be late.



What were you doing at 8 this morning? Watching my supervisor limp around.



Where is your phone? Next to me.



What are you excited for? The first midget president.



Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you? Everyone says that to me all the time...in Michigan it's like saying hello. Oh, and "Fuck you" means "see ya next time, buddy."



Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing? Not since the innauguration.



What would you name your future daughter? "Why God Why?" It's Celtic.



Do you have curly hair? When it's allowed to grow.



What's the last piercing you got? Well, there was that time with the crochet needle and my rectum...was that out loud?



Are you mad at anyone right now? Nope. No energy.



Do you live on your own? No.

I spared you the responses from the guy I stole this from originally. Believe me when I tell you it was a public service. Here's an example: For the are you impatient question, his response was, "Hurry up fucker!"

Yeah...

You're welcome~