CALL OF THE WEEK:

(Bear with me; the true lunacy of this call is difficult to capture without sound)

SCRIBE: What can I do ya for, you wonderful customer you?
CUSTOMER: I need to know if I can get…well, I work in sales and I get more calls than you can…So, I’m in a meeting and I turn off my phone and when the meeting’s done I turn it on and I got ten messages and my mother died so I don’t wanna lose those…
SCRIBE: Oh, I’m sorry to hear your…
CUSTOMER: So I need more time ‘cause you don’t understand I got all these clients and they’re wondering what happened and…you know, I can’t get to the messages so don’t…but I need more….can you give me more time on my voicemail ‘cause those messages, they don’t stop and I got the one
SCRIBE: Well, let me…
CUSTOMER: about my mom and I can’t lose that one! But these clients they just keep leaving messages and I got another phone but for some reason they always wanna leave it on this one and…
SCRIBE: We do have an enhanced voicemail feature that gives you double the…
CUSTOMER: yeah, I know but I need the enhanced enhanced voicemail!
SCRIBE: oh, I apologize, I just realized you already have…
CUSTOMER: yeah, so I mean is there any way I can get more time? I have that other phone but nobody ever uses that and now I can’t find it but I don’t remember the voicemail password so I can’t…
SCRIBE: I can reset that for you.
CUSTOMER: You can???
SCRIBE: Sure. It’ll be a temporary password to get you back in.
CUSTOMER: OK but I can’t lose my messages. My mother is on there!
SCRIBE: You won’t. This will only give you access to what’s already…
CUSTOMER: Thank you ‘cause I get all these sales calls and I’m working four jobs so I’m up at six in the morning and I get all these calls and nobody uses the other phone they all use this one and I always get voicemail full voicemail full voicemail full so is there any way to get more
SCRIBE: Actually, the enhanced…
CUSTOMER: time on my voicemail ‘cause man I get so many calls you have no idea!!!
SCRIBE: Actuallytheenhancedvoicemail istheonlyotheroptionwehave! (Whew)
CUSTOMER: Oh, it is. OK. Can I get the number to the people that record your voicemails for you then?
SCRIBE: The voicemail archival company? Absolutely, give me one second to get their number for you. (This company saves voicemail messages on CD’s or cassette tapes for a fee)
CUSTOMER: So there’s no way for the company to give me more voicemail time?
SCRIBE: No, I’m sorry, but that’s all we have a…
CUSTOMER: You know ‘cause I’ve been such a good customer for so long maybe they could give me more time on my voicemail ‘cause I get clients calling me and leaving messages all the time and I’ve four different jobs and I’m in sales and
SCRIBE: It’s a network thing.
CUSTOMER: Oh…ok. What’s the number to that place?
SCRIBE: (Provide number and hours of operation, then the dreaded question) Was there anything else I could assist you with today?
CUSTOMER: I tell you man I have been so frustrated with this phone I’ve had eight of them I’ve never had a problem with a phone like this with you guys before but something must be wrong with this model ‘cause this newest one I put the battery in it and it FELL OUT! So I told the guy and he sent out another one but it still isn’t working so I sent all this equipment back and I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t charged ‘cause I couldn’t use any of it
CUSTOMER: Well, I'm sorry you…
SCRIBE: And then the other phone I need to replace because I lost it and I have insurance on that line so I know I can get a new one but this one has been so frustrating you have no idea I’ve had eight of them (she’s had five) & I just wanna make sure I wasn’t charged for that equipment
SCRIBE: Did you return it?
CUSTOMER: YEAH! I can’t use it so I sent it back a few weeks ago and I’m not paying for it ‘cause I couldn’t use it well I lost one of ‘em ‘cause it fell out of the back of the phone but I just wanna make sure I wasn’t
SCRIBE: …
CUSTOMER: charged ‘cause these phones have been so frustrating and I’ve had eight of them this has never happened before
SCRIBE: …
CUSTOMER: but I’m not paying for any of it ‘cause I couldn’t…OH!!!
SCRIBE: H-hello?
CUSTOMER: I gotta go! I’m having a heart attack! I gotta go!
SCRIBE: …
CUSTOMER: (click)


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