SCRIBE'S SHITTY, SHITTY DAY

I was all set to post a piece I wrote a couple days ago about readin' 'n writin', but on the way to do it I wound up having the shittiest day I've had in a long time.

Regular readers of the previous Organized Chaos may remember that I was ripped off by a couple carnival freaks who called themselves plumbers a few years ago and wound up with an unfinished laundry room and the inability to do...you guessed it, laundry. I sued the fuckers and won, but courts don't enforce small claims suits so the so-called plumbers simply changed their company name and lived to rip off another customer.

I haven't had that section completed as of yet and am forced to do my laundry elsewhere. It works out well. EFB and I split the chore and sometimes the laundry itself and it keeps her occupied on days I need to be alone.

This morning I took all the darks and decided to drive to the laundromat and get it done quickly. While showering, I noticed the water pressure seemed to be lowering a bit. Odd, I thought, but knew I couldn't do anything about it until I was finished warshing me arse. Then a funny thing happened...the water STOPPED!

I thought I was imagining things. Was it turned off? Cities can't stop the water flow even in cases where the bill hasn't been paid due to potential environmental issues. A water mane must have broken. But in the meantime, there I was covered in soap, my remaining hairs covered in conditioner, and certain vital areas not completely cleaned. Screaming obscenities to the walls of my once watery prison, I continued washing, then stomped through the house, no doubt getting water everywhere, trying every faucet in the house. None of them worked.

I found one tiny squirt bottle with water in that I used to rinse what I could and toweled off as best I could. Once dressed, I peered through the picture window in my living room and saw no city trucks on my street. Was it really because the bill wasn't paid? Resolving to ask my neighbors if they too didn't have water, I walked outside and saw three yellow vans at the very end of my street. Another goddam water mane break.

Having loaded up my "new" car with the laundry, I headed in the opposite direction of the vans and saw another one in front of the "hippy's" house draining a fucking fire hydrant into his ditch! Later I would find out from EFB that she saw that happening when she left for work an hour before. This of course begs the question: WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THOSE LAZY SONS OF BITCHES GO DOOR-TO-DOOR TO INFORM PEOPLE THEY'D BE WITHOUT WATER ON A GODDAM SATURDAY FUCKING MORNING WHEN EVERYBODY IS HOME!?

But whatever. I made it to the laundromat mere minutes before a huge rainstorm and washed everything rather quickly while reading, "Dogs in the Moonlight," a brilliant short story collection by yet another hippy based in Texas.

Once laundry was complete, I jumped behind the car, resolving to gits me somethin' to eat. For some reason, I took a completely different route than I usually take and wound up driving behind some of the slowest moving traffic I've ever seen. One hillbilly fuck in a pick-up truck (yes I know it rhymes) couldn't decide if he wanted to go fast or slow or both at the same time. When I finally had the chance to pull around his indecisive ass, It was just in time to slam on my breaks before I hit a giant puddle that resulted from the flash flooding. Hillbilly Hank decided this was the time to speed up hit the puddle so hard it threw water all over my windshield and into my open windows and all over me and my cell-phone!

What was this? God's little ironic comment on my inability to complete my shower earlier???

Now drenched in water and freezing, I drove to the nearest drive-thru with the heat on full blast.

An hour later I was back on the road heading toward the library so I could pay my car insurance and print off a party invitation for tomorrow. I pulled into the parking lot and noticed a bunch of carnival crap on the opposite side surrounded by kids and port-a-potties, which to me is basically the same thing. I found a good parking spot and walked up to the entrance, only to pause as the doors refused to open. Other people stood around with me as we read the sign telling is the library was closed:

THE SIGN YOU ACTUALLY HAD TO PARK AND WALK UP THE FUCKING LIBRARY TO SEE!!!

I wound up driving to my neighboring town to take care of everything at their library which is where I am writing this now! it's only 1:30 in the afternoon and this has been one of the most fucked up days I've had in a long time!

Pay that forward!!!

*Plus I see that only one person is paying attention to my hard-earned efforts these days!* http://churchofscribe.blogspot.com/