DUDE- The Final Update?

With the supposedly impending departure of the Aussie from Hell, Dude is quickly finding out who he can trust and who he can’t. As reported previously, the Aussie’s stunningly psychotic and inappropriate behavior resulted in an unexpected (for her) alienating of Dude’s mom who had till then been madly in love with her.

Like any real mom, she drew the line when this relative stranger started insulting her won because he didn’t want her to be included in his niece’s christening. I didn’t know what was said at the tem but now I know what he mom said to her.

“That’s my son you’re insulting,” she said.

“Well, he’s such a horrible person, mate!” she probably said while crying. “He keeps sayin’ g’day to me face like I’m some kinda wounded kangaroo!” (Or words to the effect)

“Well, what have you learned from this?” his mom said. “I need to know what you’ve learned from this experience. Is this something you’re going to keep doing or have you learned your lesson?”

Need I mention she was lecturing a woman who’s probably no more than ten years younger than her?

Most people would’ve taken that experience and said, “Yeah. What the hell is my problem? This guy’s an asshole and a loser. Why am I humiliating myself?”

But most people ain’t the Aussie. She simply switched over to Dude’s evil step-mom and spineless father. His step-mom, herself a psychopathic manipulatrix, has unconditional love for the shaved moose from Down Under. Apparently, whatever this bitch says goes so the dad loves her too…he left his much more attractive ex-wife for this bleach blond whore, so now you have an idea of the kind of guy he is.

Heartbroken over the Aussie’s impending departure, they decided to have a huge going-away meal for her. For some reason, Dude’s dumb (self) went too. This guy makes more elementary mistakes than any guy I’ve seen since I was in my early twenties. Who cares about keeping the peace? There’s no peace to be kept! This is a flat-out betrayal and needs to be dealt with accordingly.

Dude seems incapable of adaptation. He goes along to get along while at the same time alienating the fuck out of every other person he meets. He has an enormous chip on his shoulder and an unconvincing sense of entitlement but when he meets his match, which often happens, he becomes little more than a drone. That explains why he just sat at the dinner table and allowed himself to be ignored, disregarded and disrespected.

Keep in mind this is second hand testimony, but the way it was explained to me is as follows: His father and step-mom basically ignored him the entire night, fawning all over the Aussie as if she was the second coming of Paul Hogan. They went on and on about how much they’re going to miss her and how she better believe they were planning a trip to Australia. Dude’s step-mom went on and on about her own children who are successful and made snide comments about not practicing safe *** in a rather blatant reference to Dude’s single mom sister…IN FRONT OF HIS DAD, WHO SAID NOTHING!

Dude also said nothing. He resents the fact that they throw their “opulent” lifestyle in his face while knowing he’s hurting. Why should that matter right now? What should matter right now is the fact that an insane woman has turned members of his own family against him in less than two months! Oh, you forgot that part, didn’t you? She just got here at the end of July!

Are his familial relationships so precarious and fragile that they can be disrupted and destroyed so easily? This can only mean one of two things: Either his family is comprised of the stupidest people who ever lived, or they really don’t care for Dude very much. I can understand that; he’s not a likable guy at all and even when one starts thinking he might not be so bad, he does or says something to remind us what an asshole he is. But for your immediate family to choose a stranger about whom they know nothing over you is about as bas as it gets. That kind of behavior is only excusable to me if the family member is a murderer, thief, child molster, or prosecuting attorney.

On top of that, she got into his Facebook page and went to work on all the high school friends with whom he’d recently reconnected. Dude wouldn’t specify for EFB what she wrote but she said he blushed a lot and said it was so horrible he actually had to cancel his account! So now the people he knew twenty years ago think he’s the worst person since Genghis Khan and his family is divided as far as its loyalties go.

On the plus side, however, she did find a job for him to pursue and pushed him to start being more realistic about his choice of career. He seemed to be the last person in Michigan to realize that real estate is not the market to be in right now. Still, I don’t think cleaning, cooking and job seeking is enough to wipe out lying, scheming and betrayal.

Naturally I had to know what happened Tuesday. I texted dude at about 12:30p.m. and asked if this was the big day. He texted back that he was at the airport doing a happy dance and would talk to me later. Her flight departed at 3:30 and he already had her there!

I guess she kept saying, “Be nice” over and over as they bid each other farewell. Dude replied, “I’m bein’ nice.” Whatever. I would’ve actually strapped her ass to a wheelchair so I could just push her through the metal detectors on her way to the terminal.

As an added bonus, Dude plans to stay in contact with her, presumably to make sure she isn’t with child. He’s also going to ship back the huge amount of stuff she brought with her, including her PC. It would’ve cost her $2000.00 to have it sent back on her own.

Finally, after almost two months of torturous hell, Dude is free of his online nightmare hook-up. Finally he is free to learn his lesson and move on with his life. Finally, he can go meet this new chick he met online who’s really, really hot and he knows she is because she sent pictures…like…the Aussie. Well, this time it’ll work out because…well, because it will!

Don’t you people believe in true love!?

The story continues…