Monday, October 27, 2008

CALL OF THE WEEK:

it's back and more asinine than ever!

SCRIBE- How may I help?
CUSTOMER- Yeth, I’m really upset.
SCRIBE- I’m sorry to hear you’re upset. What’s going on today?
CUSTOMER- Yeth, I has been tryin’ to git my phome replaced since this mornin’ and I been disrespected.
SCRIBE- I certainly apologize you feel you’ve been disrespected.
CUSTOMER-- Mmmmm-hmmmm. I went to the store to files a insurance claims and got nothin’ but disrespects
SCRIBE- What did they tell you at the store?
CUSTOMER- They wouldn’t help me! I wanted to files a claims and they just gave me disrespects.
SCRIBE- I’m sorry the store wasn’t able or even willing to assist you. (Reading the previous note in the account I see the customer wanted to pay the 50.00 deductible in cash at the store and was advised why that wouldn’t be possible)
CUSTOMER- All they done was disrespects me. I was disrespected!
SCRIBE- Well, insurance claims are actually filed through a third party company and those claims have to be made over the phone or online. We’re not able to…
CUSTOMER- Yeth, I know! I told you I was on the phome with the insurance peoples!
SCRIBE- Actually, you said you went to the store to…
CUSTOMER- Dat was dis morning! I done talked to the insurance peoples since then!
SCRIBE- OK. What did they tell you?
CUSTOMER- Dey was axin’ for all kinda of mess and I ain’t have it. Dey was disrespectin’ me!
SCRIBE- What kinda…mess did they need?
CUSTOMER- I was using my mom’s checking account and I ain’t have all her informations.
SCRIBE- Oh, so they wouldn’t complete the claim without verifying the payment info?
CUSTOMER-Yeth! Dey was so disrespectful!
SCRIBE- …
CUSTOMER- I got my debits card now so I can claim.
SCRIBE- Oh, okay! In that case would you like me to get the insurance company on the line for you?
CUSTOMER- Yeth! Hook me up! You gonna hook me up?
SCRIBE- Absolutely. Would you like me to get them on the line.
CUSTOMER-Can you explain to them dat I was disrespected?
SCRIBE- Sure.
CUSTOMER- Ok, then. Hook me up! Hook me up!
SCRIBE- Is it all right if I place you on hold in order to get a rep from the insurance company on the line for you?
CUSTOMER- You gonna let ‘em know I want my respects? I was dirsrespected! Been tryin’ to do dis since morning! Hook me up!
SCRIBE- …Placing you on hold now.
CUSTOMER- Yeth, hook me…
(Going through the labyrinthine system to get an insurance rep takes about two minutes. The rep is advised he is being sent an “interesting customer.” It turns out this guy has already started a claim and it was the debit they were waiting for.)

SCRIBE- I have an insurance rep on the line and he’s going to be able to further assist you.
CUSTOMER- Did you tell him to hook me up?
SCRIBE- Yep. Thanks for calling, have a great day!


*DISCLAIMER *
Lest you think I’m exaggerating, rest assured this conversation occurred as written. All I did was condense it into a shorter version of a much longer call.

13 comments:

Tim said...

could you tell by the guy's voice how old he was/is?

Constant said...

Oh my goodness, it has occurred to me that I can't read this at work. People are starring at me from the hallway (outside of this closet office I am in...)

Constant said...

Ah that's funny. I couldn't wait until I got home. I had to see why the caller was disrespected...

scribe said...

HE was a grown-assed flamer of a man!!!

Constant,

That's cute, you give yourself a little cliffhanger for the ride home.

pmesquivel333@yahoo.com said...

Lol-i am sitting in Starbucks laughing out loud! People are staring but the jokes on them-i like attention haha;) Hey I have a topic for you to write about-"Facebook Wall Posting Etiquette" Purty please?

scribe said...

That's what you get for sitting in a Starbucks!!!

Facebook What postingwhozit???

Anonymous said...

Yeth, dat was funny

scribe said...

I know I actually laughed while writing it, not to mention during the call.

Constant said...

Yeah, I would have gotten 1 "I was disrespected!" and would have lost it. :D

scribe said...

Actually, I lost it at "yeth."

pmesquivel333@yahoo.com said...

Facebook is kinda like myspace only not so retarded-well until recently when some people started getting stupid-I want you to make fun of them-then I will send them a link to your page ;)

c nadeau & t johnson said...

WHat am I an attack dog now???

DON'T ANSWER THAT!!!

I'm actually on Facebook now. Check out the writing blog for more on that.

pmesquivel333@yahoo.com said...

You are on facebook!? Yay!! Whee hee! I was going to write it myself but after reading this post and your list I figured you would do a better job :)