Now, some of you ladies, ie. broads, reading this would probably happily allow Christian Bale to hump them for any reason, movie role or not. But ol' Scribe ain't down with the idea of getting fucked by Christian Bale, yet that's how he feels when the English actor dons the rubber mask and starts chewing scenery in a manner that would make William Shatner blush with envy.
Here's the weird part: He's perfectly fine in the role of Bruce Wayne. But put that fucking mask over his weird mouth and suddenly he's growling like an animal and bucking out his teeth like a retard.
The Dark Knight picks up one year after the events of the previous disappointment, with"Batman" still kicking criminals' asses and causing organized crime bosses to cower in broad daylight so as to avoid his wrath. The opening bank robbery sequence is handled very well and introduces us to the Joker protrayed by the late and stupidly self-destructive Heath Ledger. There, I said it. Kiss my ass if you're offended.
Ledger's Joker is different. He's more of a mystery man whose origins are as unknown as his true identity. A self-described "agent of chaos," he comes before Gotham City's crime bosses to offer his services in ridding them of Christian Bale, oops, I mean "Batman."
I'm not crazy about the approach to the character, but Ledger's brilliant performance is undeniable. He inhabits the role as if he has been saving it for last, which it turns out, he was. Other actors don't fare quite as well. Michael Caine, an accomplished actor, is far too Cockney for the important role of Alfred. The almost unbearbly homely Maggie Gyllenhaal makes Katie Holmes look like Meryl Streep, and Anthony Micheal Hall sleepwalks through a bit part as a TV talk show host.
On the plus side, Morgan Freeman is his usual charismatic self as Lucius Fox and Gary Oldman, an actor I've never been a fan of, is very good as Gordon. Eric Roberts is cool as hell as the mob boss.
The story is surprisingly thin, considering the depth of the previous installment. What you see is basically what you get, with one tiny twist at the end that is so uninspired and flat-out stupid I was glad it happened at the end so I couldn't stage a walkout protest.
The action sequences remind me of the X-Men movies: OK but nothing special. The Batman suit looks ridiculous this time around and actually made me miss the infamous "bat nipples" of that George Clooney fiasco. With a two hour and forty-five minute running time, a movie better keep me interested and this one does, until the dreaded third act.
Before I get to that, let's discuss my main issue with these movies. Nobody will ever get them right. Nobody. Not Tim Burton, not Chris Nolan, not Jesus Christ, esq. The Batman character is far too complex and internal to ever be wrought correctly on screen in a few hours. But it doesn't seem like these guys even try. For Christ's sake, even that flamer Joel Schumaker tried!
Bale's Batman comes across as a complete idiot. He has zero detective skills, (a problem when your character is described in his books as "the world's greatest detective") no control over his emotions as evidenced several times in the film, and he wants to give up the Batman life and settle down. This Batman is like a kid from nowadays who doesn't get nuances or the bigger picture. Instead, he goes nuts on whoever is pissing him off at the moment.
That's not Batman. That's the new James Bond.
Still, despite Bale's agonizingly overracted (Batman) performance, the film holds together rather well until the introduction of Two-Face and a third act that is so laughably inane that only the stupidest viewer wouldn't feel like he or she was being patronized and cheated. In fact, it's so out of character and left field all I could do was shake my head at yet another wasted opportunity.
I don't understand the bizarre Bat-cult that has resulted from these films, http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/the_big_picture/2008/07/dark-knight-fan.html but hadly any of them can tell you as much about the character as I can. Yet they all wanna get pissy and know-it-all-ish when I deliver my opinion. Fuck 'em.
The movie is overrated~
** out of ****
Rest assured I will be on the internet within moment registering my disgust."
-Comic Book Guy
Oh, look! It's the REAL Batman!!!
Accept no substitutes.
9 comments:
I never bothered with Batman Begins. I'm kind of jaded towards the Michael Keaton Version of Batman.
And I loved the 1960's television show. Adam West and Burt Ward rock! They knew enough not to take their roles too seriously. Well on occasion Adam West seemed to but... no.
Heath Ledger, inspiring as his performance as Joker might be, will never win Best Actor, even posthumously. These kind of movies hardly ever win the major Oscars, with the lone exception of "Return of the King" because they had to acknowledge Peter Jackson's brilliance somehow.
Not that I'm comparing Batman to Lord of the Rings... well I suppose I am in a way.
Oh shut up.
SHUT.UP.
hmm, well you have many good points here, many of which made me laugh out loud, for example the way you described Bale's moufpiece (gahh! too funny someone I know said, "what does that guy have a lisp or something?"...Maggie Gyllenhaal is homely, lmfao!! another observation we made and agree with you on, the whole two face thing was stupid, I don't enjoy the actor who played Dent...
I agree that no one will ever be able to capture the essence of Bats the way he is depicted in the comics, comics (well some of them) are high art in my opinion, so how can that be translated to the big screen properly? can't, never will be...
But I'll tell you what, I loved this mother fuckin movie!!
It is what it is :) You being a die hard comic book guy have the right to hate it...
Just like I hate it when they turn great works of lit into bullshit movies!! I still haven't been able to bring myself to watch Love in the Time of Cholera...and i almost had a heart attack after I watched the movie version of Mambo Kings, it was so completely fucking awful!!
Heath Ledger was bloody brilliant and I'd give him an Oscar if I had any say in the matter.
We went and saw it in a packed theater before Mikey left. And I mostly agree with you. You're spot on with Christian Bale. He bugs me when he's Batman. As for Maggie. I liked her more than whiney-ass Katie Holmes. But in the end, I think they could have plugged any actress in for her part.
I was a bit disappointed with how flat Dent's character came out, and I'm a fan of Aaron Eckhart. Maybe they just tried to do too much too soon? Who knows what they were thinking.
And the Joker. Heath Ledger's joker was deeply disturbing, and I think brilliantly portrayed. There were scenes, parts of the movie where the audience would be laughing and I just didn't find those things funny. They just added to the compilation of the character for me. It was just damn scary.
I made the mistake of sharing this review on Yahoo Message Boards because the overflowing praise was making me sick, and 98% of the posters have proved eveyrthing I said about the Bat-cult. More on that in a future post.
really late on this review but i saw it last week. i have to say that i really liked heath ledger. he was the best part of the movie as far as i was concerned. as for bale, i don't like the way he talks as batman. it sounds really put-on. you're right, the guy who did the voice the best adn really did the cold, collected batman that i dug was michael keaton. he wasn't physically imposing, but he had the persona down. they should've saved two-face for another movie.
Uh-oh, J! The Bat-cult might get wind of your viewpoint! Start stockin' up on dried goods!!!
I'm actually going to see "The Dark Knight" tomorrow. Bought "Batman Begins" for $10 and there was a free movie ticket in it for "Knight".
Then I can properly weigh in on this film.
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